Zu’s HANDY TIPS LOUNGE

[Kate]

I have never managed to grow a beard on my face, so it will have to be the distraction method for my double chin. I'm thinking push-up bras

 

[lolly]

I have never managed to grow a beard on my face, so it will have to be the distraction method for my double chin. I'm thinking push-up bras

Worked for me

 

[Beverley]

I have never managed to grow a beard on my face, so it will have to be the distraction method for my double chin. I'm thinking push-up bras

 

[SystemAddict]

Obviously I’ve already shared the helpful DATES one so TIP TWO is to always bear in mind that if you use clothes pegs to keep packets of food in the pantry fresh and dry, potential BEAUX will instantly realise you grew up on a COUNCIL ESTATE

It's all very well resealing your groceries with 18 karat gold snack clips from Harrods in case a potential paramour goes pawing through your pantry but the stack of FRAY BENTOS will quickly reveal your council estate origins.

 

[SystemAddict]

Re brooches, I've seen a LOVELY one with a cat's ANUS on it. Can supply @Diddy

This reminds me of another super tip for when your cat insists on running about, tail aloft, exposing its arse.




The Twinkle Tush is also useful as a gift for gentlemen on homosexual companion applications who like to send a photograph of their MUSSY as a conversational ice-breaker.

 

[Zu]

It's all very well resealing your groceries with 18 karat gold snack clips from Harrods in case a potential paramour goes pawing through your pantry but the stack of FRAY BENTOS will quickly reveal your council estate origins.

The tip here is to buy only ONE Fray B at a time rather than a STACK () and also to discreetly hide it behind other items

 

[Alias #23]

I just found this incredibly helpful thread - of which I have no memory - during a search for that one about GRIM PLACES, triggered of course by my ruining the Drag Race thread with stories of my TERRIBLE LIFE

 

[Alias #23]

Of course everyone should remember to use USED AND GREASY PIZZA BOXES as gift wrapping to save the environment, a top tip originally shared with us by the lovely @Nancy

 

[COB]

Buy onions instead of apples, they're much cheaper

 

[Funky]

This is still the greatest thread in the history of moopy.

 

[Lucille]

Want to spout off about your GRIMLY FASCINATING childhood but can’t find an APPROPRIATE OUTLET? Then log on Moopy and dump it any thread that hasn’t gathered its own momentum yet in a kind of TOPICAL COUP

 

[Alias #23]

Purse strings a bit tight but want to give presents with a bit of heft to show you care? Why not give friends and relatives SOCKS FILLED WITH SOIL? A top tip brazenly adapted from a previous one shared by @Nancy!

 

[Alias #23]

Want to spout off about your GRIMLY FASCINATING childhood but can’t find an APPROPRIATE OUTLET? Then log on Moopy and dump it any thread that hasn’t gathered it’s own momentum yet in a kind of TOPICAL COUP

 

[RJN]

Can’t think of any new tips? Just steal Nancy’s old ones!

 

[GinAg (39)]

Save money, eat shit.

 

[Funky]

Save shit, eat money!

 

[Alla]

Dear Zu,

I ate 2 bags of some funny crisps and I feel very sick. Any advice other that I'm definitely dying? x

Spoiler

 

[SystemAddict]

This also works if you’ve overindulged on the FRAYS BENTOS topped with TANGY TOMS.

 

[Funky]

DON'T WASTE SPACE KIDS!

 

[Alias #23]

 

[RJN]

I don’t even have kids, I just do it because it makes my home classier

 

[Lucille]

I put glass on the corners of my cereal boxes to prevent GRABBY KIDS getting their hands on my WHEETOS.

 

[Alla]

 

[Lucille]

View attachment 8838

Practical AND delicious!

 

[Funky]

The added bonus off having SNACKS to munch on as your home burns down!

 

[Alla]

 

[RJN]

Batteries dead in you smoke alarm? Just go on with your life and consider it a daily game of Russian roulette

 

[Alias #23]

Sick of the children dipping their hands in your coat pockets to top up their pocket money? Why not put BROKEN GLASS in there as a deterrent?

Yes this top tip has been brought to you by ISABELLE HUPPERT

 

[Funky]

View attachment 8839

Just turn every lightswitch on! Same result but with added bonus of saving 3 pence on matches!

WASTE NOT WANT NOT

 

[Alias #23]

Sick of the children dipping their hands in your coat pockets to top up their pocket money? Why not put BROKEN GLASS in there as a deterrent?

Yes this top tip has been brought to you by ISABELLE HUPPERT

This of course also applies if you’re sick of little Jenny hammering away tunelessly on the BONTEMPI

 

[win_the_game]

I do hope you will all be suggesting these top tips to Take A Break.

They pay £10 for every tip. £25 if there's a photo.

 

[COB]

 

[RJN]

This is like the opposite of talking about rivers and streams when someone in the car really has to pee

 

[Lucille]

I just say SKIDD into the mirror 3 times at which point MARTH appears and SUMMONS A TURD.

 

[Alla]

 

[SystemAddict]

I feel this lovely and cost-cutting tip is very @Tisch and @Iguana hire @Nancy as wedding planner.

 

[Nancy]

If you are of sufficient height and have a penis, urinate in the bathroom sink rather than the toilet. When you’re done, a quick rinse around with water will use a lot less water than the toilet does.

This is beneficial for both your water bills and the environment.

 

[Zu]

ACHTUNG SLAGS! I can’t find the Lidl thread so this is going in here. Just look at what’s on offer this week for ONE POUNDS AND NINETY NINE PENCE STERLING. Pop in for luxury and pop those pegs you usually use in the bin because they make you look like VILE COMMON TRASH

 

[Zu]

All those lovely clips and such a HANDY BOX!

 

[OutSynk]

If you are of sufficient height and have a penis, urinate in the bathroom sink rather than the toilet. When you’re done, a quick rinse around with water will use a lot less water than the toilet does.

This is beneficial for both your water bills and the environment.

Love this. Too bad the sink starts stinking of piss.