Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

[Apoca]

Mormon SINNERS

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

I'm into Whitney's GIGANTIC JIGGLY TITS! She 100% fucked her way to the top, which is EXACTLY what I would do if I looked like her

 

[jivafox]

WHERE IS MARY

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

KEEPING MARY BACK to keep the viewers WATCHING I SEE!

Not long now until we get to MEET GOD!

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Judging by the first 20 minutes, this show would REALLY struggle without Jen

 

[jivafox]

Jen carrying the show so far and she KNOWS IT

 

[Apoca]

Jen and Stuart give me Kim and Sweetieeeeee vibes.

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Oh god not more LISA!

 

[Frozen]

These two will be enemies by season end

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

They even switch the backing music up to something more exciting to denote Jen ARRIVING!

 

[Lucille]

Finally Mary! In a Schiaparelli coat!

 

[Phoenix]

God is here

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Gizelle just got a new FASHION RIVAL!

 

[Frozen]

Mary Queen of Mormons has arrived

 

[Lucille]

Meeting her friend who wasn’t invited to or knew about the vow renewal...

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Mary already showing more personality in THIRTY SECONDS than the two boring brunettes

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Meeting her friend who wasn’t invited to or knew about the vow renewal...

!

 

[jivafox]

These two don’t know each other before this scene

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

"I just want brussel sprouts and crab cakes"

RELATABLE!

 

[ZenGiraffe]

This series has my favourite houses overall of the series' I've seen. Though Lisa Vanderpump's house with a bridge may be my single favourite still.

 

[jivafox]

JUST DIGEST IT

 

[Lucille]

The contrast between Mary’s outfits and her parishioners /

 

[Phoenix]

I would like to watch more of Mary’s ceremonies

 

[Apoca]

We were. Kind Of. Er. I would say.

Erm.

Kind of. AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE. Um.

 

[Lucille]

Falling out because she smells like a hospital after her aunt has BOTH legs amputated!

 

[jivafox]

SMELT LIKE HOSPITAL

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

SHE SMELLED LIKE HOSPITAL!

 

[Frozen]

‘You smell like hospital’

 

[ZenGiraffe]

"We're Mormon. We have a lot of latitude for some weird shit"

 

[Phoenix]

In all fairness to Mary, god is sensitive to the smell of death

 

[Lucille]

The humiliation of being her 3rd assistant.

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

This microphone feels VERY REHEARSED! Almost like she's fishing for all the GIFs post episode airing

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Is the THIRD ASSISTANT a homosexual..?

 

[Apoca]

But I also get Kenya vibes of extra from Jen. That's a very good thing.

 

[Phoenix]

Ah yes let’s cover all the nice wood with white rags

 

[Frozen]

3rd assistant is hot

 

[Phoenix]

Is the THIRD ASSISTANT a homosexual..?

With that hair? Duh

 

[Lucille]

Anyone getting a vibe between Brooks and his Dad...

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Heather and Jen talking feels a bit TOO AWARE of the camera (for the second time this ep) - but I will ALLOW IT as it's episode one.

Agree re. Jen/Kenya comparison, and I'd rather have a Kenya than a KIM FIELDS!

 

[Frozen]

Thought the gay son was about to FaceTime his boyfriend there