Ha-lucy-nation
ICH BALLER-ER-ER
Omg the evil begins tonight.
The SANREMO CHAT LONGE FT. MONGE (Italy 2024)
- Thread starter La Peneloupée monte le son
- Start date
La Peneloupée monte le son
what doesn't kill me only makes me MORE CHIC
I'm looking forward to my first year SWANDIVING into the hideousness and embracing the chit chat after last year's Stockholm Syndrome experience 
La Peneloupée monte le son
what doesn't kill me only makes me MORE CHIC
I'm presuming tonight should actually be fairly BRISK if we're to see all 30 songs?
Ha-lucy-nation
ICH BALLER-ER-ER
I refuse, I demand CHIT-CHAT!!!
La Peneloupée monte le son
what doesn't kill me only makes me MORE CHIC
I'm personally predicting exactly TWO sultry gems, and a deepseated sense of self-loathing by the end of the night
Una Kratz Per San Marino
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I can’t wait to be up 5 hours after my bedtime waiting for the second song
Ha-lucy-nation
ICH BALLER-ER-ER
Me showing up to work every day this week.
ButterTart
Like Mussolini or Kennedy
Part of me wants to watch along with everyone, another - possibly saner - part of me regards the phrase 'Italian light entertainment programme' as conspiracy to cause grievous bodily harm.
TiShh
Back on the horse
Cute
Ha-lucy-nation
ICH BALLER-ER-ER
I obviously can’t spare time for cooking this week so I’ve just filled the toilet bowl to the top with MONGE which I’ll eat out of like a TROUGH.
La Peneloupée monte le son
what doesn't kill me only makes me MORE CHIC
I've ordered in FIVE GRAMS d'MONGE ESPECIALLY!
Una Kratz Per San Marino
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Remember to only use your face!
TiShh
Back on the horse
I hope you pre-warned Martha!
Haiku Rewrites
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Get that Sanremo 2025 spot girl!
ZjermGiraffe
DIVA NOT DOWN
La Peneloupée monte le son
what doesn't kill me only makes me MORE CHIC
Una Kratz Per San Marino
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La Peneloupée monte le son
what doesn't kill me only makes me MORE CHIC
What time is everything today? @win_the_game
win_the_game
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The UK timings for tonight are:
19:30 - 19:40 - Primafestival (If anyone fancies 10 mins of pre-show chit-chat with Paola & Chiara. Paola is doing the donkey work here. Chiara clearly came along for the free minibar and prosecco - she's yet to hit a camera cue).
19:40 - 00:30 - Sanremo
00:30 - 01:30 - Viva Sanremo (more hard Italian chit-chat)
The running order of the songs will be announced later this afternoon. They usually give us the timestamps when each act is likely to perform for anyone dipping in-and-out.
ZjermGiraffe
DIVA NOT DOWN
FIVE HOURS!? 
How did I do this last year?
How did I do this last year?
Ha-lucy-nation
ICH BALLER-ER-ER
Heroin?
Ich Carniva-la-la-la
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I think I only joined in for the final couple of nights. This is going to be funFIVE HOURS!?
How did I do this last year?
win_the_game
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As most of this lot are just NAMES at this point, here are some write-ups.
1. Alessandra Amoroso – Fino a qui
One of the biggest names in Italian music industry alongside the likes of Laura Pausini and Elisa. The Italian twitter gays were particularly unhinged when it was announced Alessandra taking part. This is her debut in the competition and is quite the coup for RAI i.e. we're in “FUCKING hell this is MASSIVE!” territory. They've been begging her to enter Sanremo for years. She always knocked them back but has finally relented. ‘Fino a qui’ is co-written by Federica Abbate (a regular collaborator with Elodie and also behind Franny’s ‘Nessun grado di separazione’). Expect her to perform with a self-inflated sense that she might just be above all this…
2. Alfa – Vai!
One of Italy's most popular twink rappers (be warned - Sanremo is going heavy on the rap this year). The press reviews described this as rap with a folk/country twist. Just send him to the Monge factory NOW and save us the trouble.
3. Angelina Mango – La noia
Angie is the 2022 runner up on Amici di Maria De Filippi (their Fame Academy). The song was co-written by Madame and one of this year's big favourites. Lovers of cheap tat pop should keep an eye on Angelina. If anyone is ever going to deliver an unnecessary dance break on the Sanremo stage, it will be her.
4.Annalisa – Sinceramente
A six-time entrant, Annalisa returns to Sanremo following two of the biggest hits of her career. The song is dance-pop in the same vein as ‘Bellissima’ and ‘Mon Amour’. Currently the favourite to win and the stars may finally be aligning for her. RAI are quietly pushing for the first female winner since 2014 and without wanting to allege yet more MEDITERRANEAN CONSPIRACY and CORRUPTION, Annalisa’s husband just happens to be a Senior Exec at Costa Cruises, one of Sanremo’s biggest sponsors. So you know…
5. BigMama – La rabbia non ti basta
One of this year's newer names, rapper BigMama had her big break at last year’s Sanremo when she was asked to sing Elodie during the famous cover versions night. Her music centres on celebrating body positivity and standing up to the haters.
6. Bnkr44 – Governo punk
This pop-punk bunch of sickly twinks are pretty much unknown. They qualified as one of the top three acts at Sanremo Giovani (new artists competition) despite some foul vocals. Expect the same here and a contender for last place.
7. Clara – Diamanti grezzi
The winner of Sanremo Giovani 2023. Clara is the first female winner since 2009, and only the second ever. Not exactly a new artist – she had one of the biggest streaming hits last year with Origami all’alba, which featured heavily on Mare Fuori, one of RAI’s most watched teen tv shows (which she also just happened to star in). Might RAI have a vested interest somewhere?
The song is described as a half-ballad/half-dance track.
8. Dargen D’Amico – Onda alta
ANOTHER rapper. One of the few songs that discusses political and social issues. This makes reference to migrants and refugees coming across the Mediterranean in small boats. Likely to enrage fans of Giorgia Meloni and her far-right mob.
9. Diodato – Ti muovi
Apparently the runaway winner of Eurovision 2020 had it taken place. I used to think Diodato was a sickly twink until I discovered HE IS 42! It’s Diodato. It’s a ballad. Supposedly not as instant as ‘Fai Rumore’. If you didn’t like that, you won’t like THIS. One of the reviews cited RADIOHEAD as a reference point.
10. Emma – Apnea
She’s back, a decade after delivering one of the most ill-judged dog eggs on the Eurovision stage. Best known for fog horning her way through the pop/rock genre, the reviews described this as up-tempo electronic/dance with a nod to the 80’s. Perfect for Eurovision apparently i.e. coded ‘for the gays’.
1. Alessandra Amoroso – Fino a qui
One of the biggest names in Italian music industry alongside the likes of Laura Pausini and Elisa. The Italian twitter gays were particularly unhinged when it was announced Alessandra taking part. This is her debut in the competition and is quite the coup for RAI i.e. we're in “FUCKING hell this is MASSIVE!” territory. They've been begging her to enter Sanremo for years. She always knocked them back but has finally relented. ‘Fino a qui’ is co-written by Federica Abbate (a regular collaborator with Elodie and also behind Franny’s ‘Nessun grado di separazione’). Expect her to perform with a self-inflated sense that she might just be above all this…
2. Alfa – Vai!
One of Italy's most popular twink rappers (be warned - Sanremo is going heavy on the rap this year). The press reviews described this as rap with a folk/country twist. Just send him to the Monge factory NOW and save us the trouble.
3. Angelina Mango – La noia
Angie is the 2022 runner up on Amici di Maria De Filippi (their Fame Academy). The song was co-written by Madame and one of this year's big favourites. Lovers of cheap tat pop should keep an eye on Angelina. If anyone is ever going to deliver an unnecessary dance break on the Sanremo stage, it will be her.
4.Annalisa – Sinceramente
A six-time entrant, Annalisa returns to Sanremo following two of the biggest hits of her career. The song is dance-pop in the same vein as ‘Bellissima’ and ‘Mon Amour’. Currently the favourite to win and the stars may finally be aligning for her. RAI are quietly pushing for the first female winner since 2014 and without wanting to allege yet more MEDITERRANEAN CONSPIRACY and CORRUPTION, Annalisa’s husband just happens to be a Senior Exec at Costa Cruises, one of Sanremo’s biggest sponsors. So you know…
5. BigMama – La rabbia non ti basta
One of this year's newer names, rapper BigMama had her big break at last year’s Sanremo when she was asked to sing Elodie during the famous cover versions night. Her music centres on celebrating body positivity and standing up to the haters.
6. Bnkr44 – Governo punk
This pop-punk bunch of sickly twinks are pretty much unknown. They qualified as one of the top three acts at Sanremo Giovani (new artists competition) despite some foul vocals. Expect the same here and a contender for last place.
7. Clara – Diamanti grezzi
The winner of Sanremo Giovani 2023. Clara is the first female winner since 2009, and only the second ever. Not exactly a new artist – she had one of the biggest streaming hits last year with Origami all’alba, which featured heavily on Mare Fuori, one of RAI’s most watched teen tv shows (which she also just happened to star in). Might RAI have a vested interest somewhere?
The song is described as a half-ballad/half-dance track.8. Dargen D’Amico – Onda alta
ANOTHER rapper. One of the few songs that discusses political and social issues. This makes reference to migrants and refugees coming across the Mediterranean in small boats. Likely to enrage fans of Giorgia Meloni and her far-right mob.
9. Diodato – Ti muovi
Apparently the runaway winner of Eurovision 2020 had it taken place. I used to think Diodato was a sickly twink until I discovered HE IS 42! It’s Diodato. It’s a ballad. Supposedly not as instant as ‘Fai Rumore’. If you didn’t like that, you won’t like THIS. One of the reviews cited RADIOHEAD as a reference point.
10. Emma – Apnea
She’s back, a decade after delivering one of the most ill-judged
dog eggs on the Eurovision stage. Best known for fog horning her way through the pop/rock genre, the reviews described this as up-tempo electronic/dance with a nod to the 80’s. Perfect for Eurovision apparently i.e. coded ‘for the gays’.
win_the_game
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11. Fiorella Mannoia – Mariposa
One of those women of a certain age that Italians adore. Fans of the Italian 40-cigs-a-day vocal style will love this. Fiorella was runner up in 2017, losing to Francesco Gabbani and that bloody gorilla. Co-incidentally that was the few occasions over the last decade that a female act had a realistic chance of winning. The song is described as a feminist anthem. Her chances are likely to be slimmer this year but it should probably finish in the top half.
12. Francesco Renga & Nek – Pazzo di te
Following a decade of their solo careers on the skids, this pair have had an unlikely (if not unwelcome) resurgence in their twilight era an Italian pop-rock Michael Ball & Alfie Boe. The press were particularly scathing in their reviews. Absolutely no hype or anticipation for this whatsoever. The dud of the competition. Dead on arrival. If Bnkr44 don't take the wooden spoon, this pair might.
13. Fred De Palma – Il cielo non ci vuole
Best known as the leading purveyor of Italian reggaeton. Probably nicer to look at than listen to.
14. Gazzelle – Tutto qui
The indie darling. One of the few downtempo numbers in this year’s competition. A Liam Gallagher lookalike is probably of little interest to most of you.
15. Geolier – I p’ me, tu p’ te
File this one under cub rather than sickly twink. One of the more popular names in Italian rap/trap, Geolier had the bestselling album in 2023. His song features the only appearance of the Neapolitan language. The rules stated songs have to be in Italian but were changed specifically so this could compete. RAI were particularly keen to get him into the competition and you should expect this to be another one in contention to win.
16. Ghali – Casa mia
Another one of Italy’s leading rappers…
This is described as electro-rap. The song touches on anti-war themes. Despite being written months prior, it may stir some controversy with on-the-nose lyrics such as “bomb a hospital for a piece of land”. This is currently 50/1 in the odds but it may be underrated.
17. Il Tre – Fragili
THE THREE ticks the boxes of 'sickly twink' and 'rapper'. Any one who liked last year’s runner up 'Cenere' will like this – by all accounts he ripped off the entire chorus.
18. Il Volo – Capolavoro
Admittedly they probably had the best song in Eurovision 2015. Fortunately for us, Måns managed to stave off the indignity of an Italian hosted contest for another few years. They finished 3rd in Sanremo 2019 but have done little of note since then. The one with the glasses has had quite the glow up in recent years.
They’re back with ‘Masterpiece’. A pop-opera crossover. I liked Vanity Fair’s critique – “the piece does not reflect the song title”
19. Irama – Tu no
'Tu no' is confirmed to be a ballad. No doubt featuring the Italian penchant for SPEAK SINGING and TOO MANY SYLLABLES. He has good form with these songs, finishing 7th in 2019 and 4th in 2022.
20. The Kolors – Un ragazzo una ragazza
The Kolors have been plodding away for years and have carved a niche in the market for 80s synth pop and Italodisco. They’re sticking with the formula here and will do well. They had a huge summer hit with 'Italodisco', which reached top 10 across parts of Europe, and this is very much in the same vein.
One of those women of a certain age that Italians adore. Fans of the Italian 40-cigs-a-day vocal style will love this. Fiorella was runner up in 2017, losing to Francesco Gabbani and that bloody gorilla. Co-incidentally that was the few occasions over the last decade that a female act had a realistic chance of winning. The song is described as a feminist anthem. Her chances are likely to be slimmer this year but it should probably finish in the top half.
12. Francesco Renga & Nek – Pazzo di te
Following a decade of their solo careers on the skids, this pair have had an unlikely (if not unwelcome) resurgence in their twilight era an Italian pop-rock Michael Ball & Alfie Boe. The press were particularly scathing in their reviews. Absolutely no hype or anticipation for this whatsoever. The dud of the competition. Dead on arrival. If Bnkr44 don't take the wooden spoon, this pair might.
13. Fred De Palma – Il cielo non ci vuole
Best known as the leading purveyor of Italian reggaeton. Probably nicer to look at than listen to.
14. Gazzelle – Tutto qui
The indie darling. One of the few downtempo numbers in this year’s competition. A Liam Gallagher lookalike is probably of little interest to most of you.
15. Geolier – I p’ me, tu p’ te
File this one under cub rather than sickly twink. One of the more popular names in Italian rap/trap, Geolier had the bestselling album in 2023. His song features the only appearance of the Neapolitan language. The rules stated songs have to be in Italian but were changed specifically so this could compete. RAI were particularly keen to get him into the competition and you should expect this to be another one in contention to win.
16. Ghali – Casa mia
Another one of Italy’s leading rappers…
This is described as electro-rap. The song touches on anti-war themes. Despite being written months prior, it may stir some controversy with on-the-nose lyrics such as “bomb a hospital for a piece of land”. This is currently 50/1 in the odds but it may be underrated.
17. Il Tre – Fragili
THE THREE ticks the boxes of 'sickly twink' and 'rapper'. Any one who liked last year’s runner up 'Cenere' will like this – by all accounts he ripped off the entire chorus.
18. Il Volo – Capolavoro
Admittedly they probably had the best song in Eurovision 2015. Fortunately for us, Måns managed to stave off the indignity of an Italian hosted contest for another few years. They finished 3rd in Sanremo 2019 but have done little of note since then. The one with the glasses has had quite the glow up in recent years.
They’re back with ‘Masterpiece’. A pop-opera crossover. I liked Vanity Fair’s critique – “the piece does not reflect the song title”
19. Irama – Tu no
'Tu no' is confirmed to be a ballad. No doubt featuring the Italian penchant for SPEAK SINGING and TOO MANY SYLLABLES. He has good form with these songs, finishing 7th in 2019 and 4th in 2022.
20. The Kolors – Un ragazzo una ragazza
The Kolors have been plodding away for years and have carved a niche in the market for 80s synth pop and Italodisco. They’re sticking with the formula here and will do well. They had a huge summer hit with 'Italodisco', which reached top 10 across parts of Europe, and this is very much in the same vein.
A
Alla
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Here for this amazing looking lady singing abut @Butterfly, 12 points!11. Fiorella Mannoia – Mariposa
La Peneloupée monte le son
what doesn't kill me only makes me MORE CHIC
Oh YES YES YES at the comeback of Emma!
Still utterly OBSESSED with this drunken 3 minute mess!
Still utterly OBSESSED with this drunken 3 minute mess!
win_the_game
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Here's the last batch. God these are a challenge when you're working with UTTER ROT.
21. La Sad – Autodistruttivo
A pop-punk trio. Nobody asked for this. Nobody wants it.
22. Loredana Bertè - Pazza
The Queen of Italian rock (also known as the sister of the late two-time Eurovision entrant Mia Martini, and ex-wife of Björn Borg). The song is described as an ‘autobiographical piece’. This is Loredana's 12th appearance in Sanremo, with previous entries including ‘I Have No Friends’
. Loredana last competed in 2019 finishing 4th, missing out on a place in the super final thanks to a then little-known Mahmood. Expect a full-scale audience revolt if this doesn’t do well in the voting.
23. Mahmood – Tuta gold
The two-time winner is back already only two years after his last win. You might say he needs to find another hobby. Truth be told he has a new album coming out and probably needs this if he wants another top ten hit.
24. Maninni – Spettacolare
Last seen in the new artists competition in 2022 where he failed to qualify for Sanremo proper. Most are wondering why he’s been selected now. He’s singing a typical cruddy Sanremo ballad. A song primarily of interest to no one on here (other than me).
25. Mr. Rain – Due altalene
Less sickly, more DEATHLY. Mr. Rain finished 3rd last year with a horror ballad featuring a children’s choir. Thankfully the kids have long since been turned into Monge and won’t be making a reappearance. The reviews say this is another ballad but isn’t as 'good' as his last entry if that adjective can be adequately used to describe it. Perhaps they should have sent him to the Monge factory while they were at it?
26. Negramaro – Ricominciamo tutto
A classic ballad. Like Alessandra, this group are one of the bigger names in Italian music who probably don’t need Sanremo. The Italians will lap this up, Moopy less so.
27. Ricchi e Poveri – Ma non tutta la vita
At 77 and 76 years old, Angelo and Angela are our oldest competitors. Ricchi e Poveri have been going strong since 1967, and represented Italy in Eurovision 1978. They were rumoured to be in the mix for last year’s competition until the third band member passed away(!). Those who've seen the rehearsals have promised latin-inspired dance pop and possible high kicks and spins choreography. I'm here for it.
28. Rose Villain – Click Boom!
Rose Villain is a pop singer turned rapper. Click Boom! is supposedly a song of two parts – starts off as a ballad before exploding into pop-rap. Potential for this to be a Moopy favourite for those familiar with the likes of Madame.
29. Sangiovanni – Finiscimi
This twink finished 4th in 2022 with a mumbling dance-pop number. This time he’s promising artistic growth (ALWAYS a red flag!). Following the end of a relationship last year, he’s entered his sadboi era and we’re getting a ballad.
The press spoke highly of this in their reviews – “He didn’t know how to sing before. He doesn’t know how to sing now”.
30. Santi Francesi – L’amore in bocca
The winners of X Factor Italia in 2022, they’ve had little success to date and had to qualify via Sanremo Giovani. They’ll be hoping they can finally get a hit but might get lost the competition against 29 other songs. There's not much else known about the song other than it's uptempo and translates as 'Love in the mouth'
21. La Sad – Autodistruttivo
A pop-punk trio. Nobody asked for this. Nobody wants it.
22. Loredana Bertè - Pazza
The Queen of Italian rock (also known as the sister of the late two-time Eurovision entrant Mia Martini, and ex-wife of Björn Borg). The song is described as an ‘autobiographical piece’. This is Loredana's 12th appearance in Sanremo, with previous entries including ‘I Have No Friends’
. Loredana last competed in 2019 finishing 4th, missing out on a place in the super final thanks to a then little-known Mahmood. Expect a full-scale audience revolt if this doesn’t do well in the voting.23. Mahmood – Tuta gold
The two-time winner is back already only two years after his last win. You might say he needs to find another hobby. Truth be told he has a new album coming out and probably needs this if he wants another top ten hit.
24. Maninni – Spettacolare
Last seen in the new artists competition in 2022 where he failed to qualify for Sanremo proper. Most are wondering why he’s been selected now. He’s singing a typical cruddy Sanremo ballad. A song primarily of interest to no one on here (other than me).
25. Mr. Rain – Due altalene
Less sickly, more DEATHLY. Mr. Rain finished 3rd last year with a horror ballad featuring a children’s choir. Thankfully the kids have long since been turned into Monge and won’t be making a reappearance. The reviews say this is another ballad but isn’t as 'good' as his last entry if that adjective can be adequately used to describe it. Perhaps they should have sent him to the Monge factory while they were at it?
26. Negramaro – Ricominciamo tutto
A classic ballad. Like Alessandra, this group are one of the bigger names in Italian music who probably don’t need Sanremo. The Italians will lap this up, Moopy less so.
27. Ricchi e Poveri – Ma non tutta la vita
At 77 and 76 years old, Angelo and Angela are our oldest competitors. Ricchi e Poveri have been going strong since 1967, and represented Italy in Eurovision 1978. They were rumoured to be in the mix for last year’s competition until the third band member passed away(!). Those who've seen the rehearsals have promised latin-inspired dance pop and possible high kicks and spins choreography. I'm here for it.
28. Rose Villain – Click Boom!
Rose Villain is a pop singer turned rapper. Click Boom! is supposedly a song of two parts – starts off as a ballad before exploding into pop-rap. Potential for this to be a Moopy favourite for those familiar with the likes of Madame.
29. Sangiovanni – Finiscimi
This twink finished 4th in 2022 with a mumbling dance-pop number. This time he’s promising artistic growth (ALWAYS a red flag!). Following the end of a relationship last year, he’s entered his sadboi era and we’re getting a ballad.
The press spoke highly of this in their reviews – “He didn’t know how to sing before. He doesn’t know how to sing now”.
30. Santi Francesi – L’amore in bocca
The winners of X Factor Italia in 2022, they’ve had little success to date and had to qualify via Sanremo Giovani. They’ll be hoping they can finally get a hit but might get lost the competition against 29 other songs. There's not much else known about the song other than it's uptempo and translates as 'Love in the mouth'
Ha-lucy-nation
ICH BALLER-ER-ER
Loving the ratio of sickly twinks to fabulous ladies this year, last year they seemed to outnumber them 10/1.
La Peneloupée monte le son
what doesn't kill me only makes me MORE CHIC
Oh for heavens sake not MR RAIN 
La Peneloupée monte le son
what doesn't kill me only makes me MORE CHIC
God, I'm ALMOST excited for tonight now - who'd have EVER SEEN IT!
A
Alla
Guest
All dead of old ageThis is Loredana's 12th appearance in Sanremo, with previous entries including ‘I Have No Friends’
Una Kratz Per San Marino
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Efendi would have won in 2020 
Hard Rock Ag-elujah
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I'd still to see them on stage.
A
Alla
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As if as planned wasn't long enough
ZjermGiraffe
DIVA NOT DOWN
win_the_game
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Efendi would have won in 2020
I never said it! I was paraphrasing certain Moopy posters.
win_the_game
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Here's the link for tonight: https://www.raiplay.it/dirette/rai1
It's currently geo-blocked but should be lifted before 7.30 pm.
It's currently geo-blocked but should be lifted before 7.30 pm.