Speculate Wildly About Enya

Enya knows of several Irishmen who've moved to Thailand, and hopes they, tourists and natives are coping. 💭 She definitely isn't going to Bangkok anytime soon. 😬
 
Bypass said:
Enya bowls
Click to expand...
Very desirable. I have the full collection

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Enya also has Mandalay, Myanmar in her thoughts 🙏 and now has the Robbie Williams song Road To Mandalay in her head. There's nothing funny left to say... :(
Enya has also contemplated whether her castle's namesake Manderley in the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier had anything to do with the Burmese city.
She hopes that, like her castle which was damaged by a fire nearly 100 years ago, Mandalay will be restored to its former glory. 😌
 
Enya believes this redditor absolutely does not have Frodo's soul, but will allow his Enya comments for their sheer deludedness:

and met Dido

which makes this comment about Enya and Dido all the more amusing:


These two are amongst the loveliest artists, but since when was a responsibility towards the fans a thing in their careers? :D
Enya turning around during Only Time behind the scenes 2000


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:enya:
 
Enya supposes Tasmin Archer's kind of teasing of a new album (her previous one was 2006) is nice, garners less spite, but nah, Enya would rather not show her face at this point 😅 Several Lipstick Alley commenters here like to nitpick. o_O O_o o.O O.o
 
Enya falls flat on her arse trying to kick in the door of her local branch of Tesco Local after turning up after closure, yelling "I just need one more fucking White Lightning you dirty cunts!"
 
Enya is spending her Xmas printing of multiple copies of the infamous picture of Myra Hindley and posting them through the letterbox of every house where a child is known to be living in
 
Enya has a wonderful day. She woke up early and Googled the residence of the family of the late Stephen Hawking. Later that evening the Hawking family were eating dinner. They turned their attention to the window and were mortified to see Enya mockingly bleated "my eyesight means a lot to meeee heh heh heh!" whilst pretending to lick her ear and play the piano. The family called the police but by the time they arrived Enya had vanished.

The police eventually found her behind a bush covered in shit. As she sat in the back of the police car smearing feces all over the apolstery and cooing to herself "sail away sail away sail away" she thought about the impact that her impressions of people such as Stephen Hawking and Theresa May might have on the individuals in question....Enya felt nothing.
 
Enya will spend her Sunday morning, wanking off the animals at Chester Zoo. She's said to be especially looking forward to making the hippos cum.
 
Enya spends her Tuesday mornings standing outside the gates of the local school for special needs kids shaking her fist and swigging vodka.
 
After a Park Run this morning (done on her behalf by a young Kenyan chap), she will be playing human Jenga with her favourite sex workers.
 
Enya has announced she is teaming up with the Reform Party in a campaign to bring back PUBLIC HANGINGS.

"Not only would they be entertaining to watch, it'd serve as a deterrent to all those little scrotes currently ruining this once-great country" chirped the ethereal diva to the Daily Fail.
 
Enya woke up this morning drenched in semen.

She has no recollection of how this happened. The last thing she remembers is taunting the young wheelchair-bound girl who lives down the road. Enya doesn't know her name. She simply refers to her as "wheelchair Sally".
 
Unfortunately Enya won't be able to make her late mothers funeral. She has a nipple piercing scheduled the same day.
 
Funny, she didn't make the funeral of her dead child, as she was busy shitting on war graves.
 
Enya has no patience for funerals. She lives in the here and now. Besides, she always gets asked to do the buffet, and she hasn't got time to be fannying around with egg and cress sandwiches and sausage rolls.
 
And her here and now is replacing the lube in gay saunas with corrosive liquid acid. She said, she saw it on the news a few years ago and thought "yup"
 
Enya gets on well with Dannii Minogue but doesn't care for Neon Nights
 
The only funeral Enya has ever attended was her own. She had planned a great ghostly spectacle of springing out of her grave and hurling faeces at the attendees.

Alas at the pivotal moment, everyone had been distracted away by that cursed Roma Ryan setting up a game of Nude Twister in the car park. Enya instead found she was simply flinging her accidents at bewildered squirrels.
 
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