Eurovision Midweek Rewatch: Tel Aviv, 2019 (2100 BST 13.05.20)

[Darcus & Carnivus]

OMG!!! DANA!!!!

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

DANA

 

[Darcus & Carnivus]

Fucking hell she looks AMAZING!!

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

It boggles the mind that Hungary referred to this as a homosexual flotilla.

 

[Darcus & Carnivus]

Sebi <3

 

[Madisön]

This week has taught us - the contest is nothing without pageantry.

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

It boggles the mind that Hungary referred to this as a homosexual flotilla.

It boggles the mind that heterosexual people watch this and aren’t even A BIT inclined.

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

2019 was SUCH A GOOD YEAR looking back

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

Why is Letitia Dean here?

 

[Penelope]

2019 really was UTTERLY BEYOND as a year. Barely two thirds through and this is already a line-up of life!

 

[Darcus & Carnivus]

WHO'S THIS?

 

[Madisön]

Ilanit

 

[Penelope]

OMG ILANIT!

 

[Penelope]

We really MUST watch Eurovision 77 some time soon

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

WHO'S THIS?

Linda from the Food and Beverage stand

 

[Penelope]

STAB ME IN THE THROAT ZENA

 

[Penelope]

STAB ME IN THE THROAT ZENA

OMG STAMP ON MY THROAT CHINGIZ!!!

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

It boggles the mind that heterosexual people watch this and aren’t even A BIT inclined.

I have only watched Eurovision with one homosexual person, and that's only because we'd been to Sankeys the night before and we just sat around drinking all day to ease the comedown and Eurovision happened to be on. Eurovision is big business among the heterosexes, you know.

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

Oh HIM

 

[Madisön]

Bleh

 

[Penelope]

OMG at Nadav managing to scam his way back in

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

Follow that dream to MURDER PALESTINIANS presumably?

 

[win_the_game]

These hosts are even more dreadful than I remember.

 

[Penelope]

*dares to dream from window of fighter jet*

 

[Darcus & Carnivus]

STOP TALKING

 

[Darcus & Carnivus]

START THE SHOW ALREADY

 

[Penelope]

The postcards this year really WERE utterly gorgeous (if partly illegal for a few of them)

 

[Penelope]

Oh THIS useless old moo

 

[Darcus & Carnivus]

Oh this bitch

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

She looked like she’d have rather been ANYWHERE ELSE

 

[Darcus & Carnivus]

This was so good on record

 

[Penelope]

Getting ready to bop with all the grace of an oil tanker to this, much like MADAME MICHELA HERSELF

 

[win_the_game]

This is such a non-chorus

 

[Penelope]

You can practically SMELL the money laundered expense write-offs on this stage show

 

[Rim Soldi Tagi Dim]

Oh GRASS GROWS when she sings a lyric with the word GRASS. How FORWARD THINKING MALTA.

 

[win_the_game]

Obviously slim pickings in Valetta if this one managed to win the X Factor

 

[Wir Butter 'ne Tarty]

I liked this one (much more for the presentation than the singing or even the song itself). Seriously, though, do the Maltese swaddle their infants in acid-soaked blankets or something? They look like they're knocking 40 by the time they leave school.

 

[Madisön]

Weird choice of opener - I’d have shown off the stage.

 

[Penelope]

This is such a non-chorus

I like to rewrite it to be about JANET LEON

I haven't felt another human's touch in weeks

 

[Penelope]

Weird choice of opener - I’d have shown off the stage.

Oh don't worry, we're about to get plenty of THAT from Albania next