Jark presents... ULTIMATE KYLIE: THE COUNTDOWN (#1 is...)

I find "I Love It" DULL DULL DULL. "Miss a Thing" is better but not among the highlights from Disco for me. I'm more of a "Dance Floor Darling" guy.

"BPM" is among my favorites of the b-sides (all of the outtakes from Ultimate Kylie were great).

"Fever" is a cute bop and arguably a missed single opportunity. Probably wouldn't trouble my top 50 though.

"Still Standing" is fabulous
 
I’d plump for Burning Up or Love Affair over Fever if they had mined a fifth single from it.
 
Jark said:
22. Fever
from Fever



not officially a single, although she did give it a TV perf or two, the Fever title track is a right cracker. Kylie is at her most coquettish over a beefy electro beat. the lyrics deserve a shoutout here: "there ain't a surgeon that good any place in all the world... so now shall I remove my clothes?" the chorus glides, her oohs and aahs processed into something mechanical... there's always something very knowing about Kylie playing the sex kitten, she's in on the joke, and Fever is a particularly climactic example.
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I always remember this performance. I love it so much. Its like Geru on steroids but sedated at the same time :disco:
 
20. In My Arms
from X



How do you describe a feeling? Kylie has spent an entire lifetime in music attempting just that. how love, romance and sex make her feel is the clear personal through line of her work, even if often it never feels all that personal at all. on the second-best single from X, she turns the question around: how does it feel in my arms? do you want it, do you need it? the usual "should've been the lead single!" refrain is particularly applicable here. Calvin Harris' synthy electropop production, if not exactly wow, has stood the test of time well enough, and In My Arms continues to go off in arenas like it was the #1 it could and should have been.


19. Get Outta My Way
from Aphrodite



I was never the biggest fan of Get Outta My Way, but time has been wonderful to this one. there's something slightly timeless about it, even something a bit festive sounding about the chorus. call it a Christmas time banger. the story goes that team Kylie fought hard for this one and that others including Britney wanted it — they probably thought it would be a much bigger hit, and its unfortunate #11 placing was maybe just about timing.

extra points for the lyric "getting me back at the end of the song," and for the dress in the (otherwise not very good) video. Get Outta My Way is a sugar rush and a big ball of joy, and Kylie's easy ability to slip into her higher register on the chorus lends just a note of emotional resonance. a live revival is surely due.


18. Heartstrings
from Aphrodite (Japanese edition)



the only song in this countdown not available to stream, Aphrodite's Japanese bonus track is a half-finished Xenomania production that's basically one verse and chorus looped twice. no matter. Heartstrings is utterly gorgeous and, in some weird way I can't quite pinpoint, almost devastating. the sheer warmth of it is overwhelming. you have such an effect on me, you give me everything could easily be the fans' ode to the queen herself. it's slightly mental to me that a song this effusive, this Kylie, was left off the album, especially considering some of the nonsense that did make it. but even that plays into the Minogue mystique. baby, she pulls on my heartstrings.


17. Better the Devil You Know
from Rhythm of Love



surely the apex of SAW's catalogue of hits, and arguably one of about four defining hits in Kylie's career, Devil is such a giant step up from everything that came before it that I'd argue it bought Kylie enough good will to survive the commercially barren spell that lasted most of the '90s. my favourite moment is the post-chorus and middle 8 — those synths are so clean, airy and sharp, the song is all forward momentum, and Kylie's vocal has the space to glide over it all. a genuine pop triumph from a simpler time.
 
I'd like to hear Get Outta My Way with better production. I've grown to enjoy it a lot more over the years, but it still sounds a bit thin, tinny and shrill in production to me.
 
16. Say Something
from Disco



it's always fun guessing at what kind of sound Kylie is gonna back with. Say Something felt like a timely reminder of her desire and capacity to surprise, after the ultra-safe sound of Dancing and most of Golden. it's all about how the song is tightly wound around that ultra-chunky riff, building suspense without the typical release of a big chorus. when it does come, it's worth waiting for. a choir of backing vocals elevate the middle 8 to a kind of spiritual plane. Min is taking us to church (forgive us for we have sinned etc).

obviously a great song in its own right, but perhaps what earned it such a high placing in this countdown is the life it took on later, specifically the way House Gospel Choir's inclusion in the Infinite Disco version really played into that hymn-like feeling. it's something quite rich and transcendent. a perfect standalone in the back cat of a popstar who still has the hunger to find new spaces in which to play.


15. Butterfly
from Light Years



I don't think there's much point in over-intellectualising Butterfly. it's a massive, fun for Europe banger and it's camper than a row of tents containing nothing but prosthetic tits :disco: thankfully this song, which still has a few hints of Kylie's 90s club DNA courtesy of Steve Anderson, was made in 2000 and not today, meaning it's a full four minutes of pop-offery, rather than a brief jingle that teases but never cums. gay bliss!


14. Where is the Feeling?
from Kylie Minogue



oh, god. this song is such a wild trip. I have a friend who loves Kylie but hasn't really investigated her '90s music in any way and almost certainly doesn't know this song — punishment TBD. his loss, because Where is the Feeling? is an enormous piano-house classic that, like so much of the best dance music of the early '90s, understands that there are many shades of joy to be found on the dancefloor, also taking the odd detour into acid jazz. the part about five minutes in that drops out completely, slows the pace, and lets a tinkling piano solo take you to the Balearics is the most insanely gorgeous thing. a genuinely thrilling and actually quite daring seven minutes of song that also happens to be the apex of everything Kylie Minogue made during her "difficult artistic phase." it saddens me that she doesn't love its parent album. special note for the sheer character of her vocals (which are big) on this one. yeah, I will... oh yeah, I will...

(please note that this placing is fully for the album version of the song, not the dour single remix, which is pleasant enough in a trip-hoppy, suicidal kind of way, but really not fit to kiss the handbag of the original.)


13. On a Night Like This
from Light Years



what is happening in this video please? the storyline parts are madness. anyway, On a Night Like This should be studied. it's a lesson in pop excellence. every hook from the moment the first verse begins is tight, catchy, a little bit sexy and dripping in melancholy. the bridge in particular (you kiss me, I'm fallin'... it's your name I'm callin') is an absolute pleasure, and the chorus has the reassuring feel of pop music made by people who simply get what it's all about, and have the skills to do it better than anyone else.

the clubby production, with a slight hint of techno under the chorus, is highly turn-of-the-century and slightly calls to mind I Turn To You — but beefier, chunkier, bigger, better. it has aged stunningly well. the perfect song to cement the comeback and Kylie's status as the MVP of both radio and the dancefloor.
 
how are we feeling about my chances of finishing this?

you get two more tonight
 
Jark said:
18. Heartstrings
from Aphrodite (Japanese edition)



the only song in this countdown not available to stream, Aphrodite's Japanese bonus track is a half-finished Xenomania production that's basically one verse and chorus looped twice. no matter. Heartstrings is utterly gorgeous and, in some weird way I can't quite pinpoint, almost devastating. the sheer warmth of it is overwhelming. you have such an effect on me, you give me everything could easily be the fans' ode to the queen herself. it's slightly mental to me that a song this effusive, this Kylie, was left off the album, especially considering some of the nonsense that did make it. but even that plays into the Minogue mystique. baby, she pulls on my heartstrings.
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many days, this is my favorite Kylie song
 
My top 3 Kylie songs that should have been singles, or even actually on an album

1. Heartstrings
2. Tightrope
3. White Diamond
 
12. I Believe in You
from Ultimate Kylie



for her first collaboration with Jake Shears and Babydaddy of the Scissor Sisters, Kylie and the homos cooked up a gorgeously shimmering, sparkling midtempo that more or less became the blueprint for what she later coined "emotopop." I Believe in You is a pretty straightforward song, and most of the magic comes from that utterly stunning synth riff that cuts like glass — but the lyrics too are excellent, and actually kinda dark for a love song. I don't believe I'd love somebody just to pass the time feels like a pretty personal line, given Kylie's well-documented string of relationships and the media's obsession with it, and her deep faith in the power of love and romance. the perfect single for a hits collection, because it simply encapsulates Kylie as a popstar, and perhaps gives a little insight into the person, too.


11. Breathe
from Impossible Princess



what is this slice of heaven? one of Kylie's personal favourites, I believe, Breathe is by far and away the best song from Impossible Princess, a gorgeously sensual number that straddles the line between pop and some of the more indie/underground sounds she was exploring at the time. like I Believe in You, Breathe is fairly straightforward melodically, with a chorus that lulls you into hypnosis with its one repeated lyric. there's some tasteful use of a vocoder, and a somewhat "underwater" feel to it that mirrors the pop William Orbit was making in the late '90s with All Saints and Madonna, and maybe some of Dannii's Girl album too. but Breathe is warmer, more inviting, a hug and a striptease of a song.

special shoutout to Todd Terry's fairly insane 7-minute Freeze remix, which cranks up the tempo and adds a filthy bassline, while newly recorded vocals on the final chorus and outro amp up the drama considerably for the clubs. one of many quite transformative Kylie remixes from the 94-98 period.

 
better do this or it'll never happen.

fun fact: due to an accounting era my top 50 actually contains 51 songs, so at #10 we have a good old-fashioned double-A side :disco:

=10. More More More
from Fever



I think it's such a statement of intent to open an album with a tune like this. More More More is five minutes of slinky, sexy seduction, a disco glider sung largely in 00s Kylie's trademark breathy register that seems to roll on and on, infiltrating the bloodstream with each repetition of the chorus. a total slow burn of a track, but also highly infectious, and by the time Kylie's voice ascends into an ecstatic higher register, you're in her hands. it's both sleek and retro, and makes me pine for a proper '70s influenced groovy disco record from KM Air.


=10. All the Lovers
from Aphrodite



All the Lovers is what lead single dreams are made of, the kind of song every pop artist would kill to kick things off with: immediate, anthemic, uplifting, with an absolute gift of a sparkling synth riff courtesy of producer Jim Eliot that turns the song completely on its axis during the middle 8. the instrumental explosion that follows is the very definition of a Kylie Moment™, and to this day still gives me shivers. this one seems to be a big personal fave of Kylie's, and always goes monumentally off on tour.

special mention for the video by Joseph Kahn, which is probably Kylie's last proper big budget affair. the human pyramid, the slo-mo horse, the dove... it's a stunner.
 
Can't cope with the fact that that accounting error must mean that Confide In Me isn't even #51
 
I made an error spelling the word error - the matrix is glitching. Kylie's power. :disco:

cannot confirm placements of #52 and down but let's just say she was bubbling under
 
some days I think I Believe in You actually is better than All the Lovers :o maybe I was too hasty doing this list
 
The danger of a Kylie (much like Girls Aloud) top 10, 20 or whatever is for me is that it'll only ever be according to my whim at that moment.

The only thing I could predict with certainty would be that my top ten would have about 37 songs in it.
 
9. Shocked
from Rhythm of Love



how I love this hi-nrg synthpop banger. Shocked, the final pre-00s song to fall here, was released as a single in 1991 but absolutely drips late '80s energy. the first minute and a half (note that I'm talking about the album version, which to me is the superior mix) is a real luxury: no vocals, just that funky synth riff building and swirling and lubricating the listener into a right old FRENZY :disco:

when the verse does eventually kick in, it's an instant classic: tight and bendy and catchy, flowing into a bridge delivered in a rapid staccato ("SURR-OUN-DED. BY FEE-LINGS") that feels like a goddess summoning her subjects. the chorus is classic cheese, but the backing vox and Kylie's forceful delivery elevate it to something far beyond a typical SAW production. the electric guitar that comes in later adds some hefty crunch, and by the last chorus we're cruising. it's such a fantastic and effortless composition that when it fades out, you can hardly believe it's over already. not her biggest '90s single, but her best.


8. The One
from X



starlight shimmers everywhere, there's a
certain something in the air...

The One is just one of those songs so simple, so gorgeous, it feels like it cuts to the core of who Kylie is. the lyrics are not exactly anything new or different for her, but there's an elegant magic to them (close to touch like Michelangelo) that makes The One feel like a sequel of sorts to I Believe In You. like that song, I always read it as Kylie singing to her fans rather than a lover. it's about connection and, despite receiving a late and very low-key single release, it feels like quite a key song in her oeuvre. apparently she was unhappy at how it wasn't given more support. presumably it's one of just a couple of songs on X she considers personal to her. in some other galaxy it was #1 for six weeks.

special mention to the Freemasons remix which is absolutely off the scale in terms of tears on the dancefloor, poppers-o-clock melodrama. 9 minutes of bliss. :disco:
 
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Can’t argue with either of them.

Along with Step Back In Time, Shocked is probably the biggest grower on me over the years from the pre-2000 period. The other two behemoths from the album used to tower over them, but now all four are nearly equal for me.
 
"Shocked" is probably my least favorite of the ROL singles but still a max track.

"The One" is undeniable.
 
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