Kate Middleton Princess née Duchess of EVILSHIRE

[Say Sheena-na-na]

They must be TRAINING THE CLONE

 

[ZjermGiraffe]

Why are they doing everything to fuel speculation?

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

Why are they giving their statement to PAGE SIX?!?

 

[Say Sheena-na-na]

Why are they doing everything to fuel speculation?

Probably because it takes away from the real issue going on, that the KING is about to CARK IT.

 

[Madison]

Why are they giving their statement to PAGE SIX?!?

To be fair, their statement is effectively: fuck off - we’re not going to give an exclusive to the New York Post’s gossip pages spinoff.

 

[big ron]

OH THEY WOULD SAY THAT.

 

[big ron]

They must be TRAINING THE CLONE

You can't just magic up a new shapeshifting lizard body out of THIN AIR you know

 

[octophone]

You can't just magic up a new shapeshifting lizard body out of THIN AIR you know

I know. If you could, we'd still have Prince Philip.

 

[Una Kratz Per San Marino]

To be fair, didn't they say she would be in hospital for two weeks (she was) and would be off duty until Easter (which isn't for a few weeks). Or have they GOT TO ME TOO?

 

[Rita]

To be fair, didn't they say she would be in hospital for two weeks (she was) and would be off duty until Easter

She’s not JESUS CHRIST hun.

 

[lolly]

She’s not JESUS CHRIST hun.

And he only needed THREE DAYS to RISE AGAIN

 

[ZjermGiraffe]

To be fair, didn't they say she would be in hospital for two weeks (she was) and would be off duty until Easter (which isn't for a few weeks). Or have they GOT TO ME TOO?

Oh Kratz, not THE ESTABLISHMENT LINE

 

[Una Kratz Per San Marino]

She’s not JESUS CHRIST hun.

I howled at this.

 

[big ron]

To be fair, didn't they say she would be in hospital for two weeks (she was) and would be off duty until Easter (which isn't for a few weeks). Or have they GOT TO ME TOO?

SHES IN A COMA BECAUSE WILLIAM BROKE HER NOSE

 

[Ig Komme]

She's been NAILED TO THE CROSS like JESUS WAS.

 

[octophone]

Yeah well, he deserved it, bloody virtue signaller.

 

[octophone]

I'm quite sure they're setting the stage for a big media assault when she's finally recovered and we'll hear all about it in due course but it's a bit of fun in the meantime, innit?

 

[lolly]

She's been NAILED TO THE CROSS like JESUS WAS.

Do I get chocolate when she turns up?

Otherwise she can SHIT OFF

 

[Tetris-Rock]

Why are they doing everything to fuel speculation?

It really is getting out of hand! I don’t see how this is preferable to telling a heavily veiled version of the truth.

 

[untilted]

I’d like her a bit more if she has had a BBL

 

[untilted]

…but we all know she’s too BEIGE for that

 

[Alla]

She's not been seen in public or she's not been seen by anyone that can confirm she's still "there"? The rumour she's actually Fröken Snusk is starting to make sense.

 

[ZjermGiraffe]

She's not been seen in public or she's not been seen by anyone that can confirm she's still "there"? The rumour she's actually Fröken Snusk is starting to make sense.

Nary so much as a pap shot.

 

[Alla]

Nary so much as a pap shot.

No entiendo ni una palabra, prefiero inglés a slang, gracias. Zorra.

 

[ZjermGiraffe]

Nary so much as a pap shot.

A paparazzo has not even taken a long range photograph of her since December, so we have nothing independent of the Palace to confirm she is conscious, in the country, or even ALIVE

 

[Alla]

A paparazzo has not even taken a long range photograph of her since December, so we have nothing independent of the Palace to confirm she is conscious, in the country, or even ALIVE

What?? OMG, you can't fool the British paparazzi for 2 months, she's abroad or dead, definitely.

 

[TiShh]

@Moderator can we have a little subheading to this thread please? A "DEAD????" Or a "DEAD.....Tired?????"

 

[ZjermGiraffe]

@Moderator can we have a little subheading to this thread please? A "DEAD????" Or a "DEAD.....Tired?????"

It is done

 

[Alla]

I reckon she's in Africa, it makes the most sense.

 

[ButterTart]

From the timings they've given us and the code of secrecy being employed, it's obvious that she's in training to be a surprise entrant in the Andre the Giant Memorial battle royale at Wrestlemania 40.

 

[TiShh]

From the timings they've given us and the code of secrecy being employed, it's obvious that she's in training to be a surprise entrant in the Andre the Giant Memorial battle royale at Wrestlemania 40.

She's out Eurovision entrant! The Olly stuff is just a ruse

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

I find it very odd they gave their only statement to PAGE SIX? Which doesn’t seem like something the Royal Family would ever do? It makes me think Page 6 has something on her, and the palace had to give them an exclusive statement to keep quiet.

 

[Jark]

I find it very odd they gave their only statement to PAGE SIX? Which doesn’t seem like something the Royal Family would ever do? It makes me think Page 6 has something on her, and the palace had to give them an exclusive statement to keep quiet.

surely a generic denial statement is not much of a bone to be thrown? I wouldn't agree to bury dirty tea for that

 

[Jark]

Maybe those walking Palace PR aneurysms understood that the denial would be buried on page six of the Times

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

surely a generic denial statement is not much of a bone to be thrown? I wouldn't agree to bury dirty tea for that

Agreed, but can’t think why else, when there’s so much speculation going around, the only publication they are willing to speak to is an infamous US gossip column!

 

[octophone]

It's a generic statement they issued, isn't it? Because nothing makes the press go away like telling them to go away. Works ever time. Without fail. 100% nailed on.

 

[Una Kratz Per San Marino]

They should have temporarily recast her like when Tempany Deckert got glandular fever in Home and Away.

 

[Hard Rock Ag-elujah]

"She's not disappeared, she's just skinny, you should try it"

 

[Jark]

ALIVE

 

[Ha-lucy-nation]

Take off the GLASSES! We know you’re doing a ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’!!!