Melodifestivalen 2022 GOSSIP OCH BITCHING thread

[Penelope]

I still collapse into hysterics every time I remember the description from someone on here (@FetchFugly?) of Lisa Ajax "expressing her full range of emotions on the screen behind her" in I Don't Give A

 

[win_the_game]

I've not seen a more MISJUDGED yet LEGENDARY performance since Anne-Lie dragged a shitty brown feather boa over the audience.

 

[Apoca]

I Don't Give A was her greatest perf. Literally EMOTING ON SCREEN

Picture it: Stockholm, March 2017, SVT Studios.

"So Christer, we have this issue of swear words in the finals "
"Yeah maybe, tell Robin to substitute that with something else. Ok, see you tomorr-"
"Erm, what about Lisa?"
".... ah, yeah, that. It's fine, whatever. Hej dååå! "

 

[Penelope]

Lisa was never going to top My Heart Wants Me Dead

An actually MESMERING spiritual journey

 

[Penelope]

I've not seen a more MISJUDGED yet LEGENDARY performance since Anne-Lie dragged a shitty brown feather boa over the audience.

A year absolutely FLOODED with them!

 

[Apoca]

Anyways.

PEOPLE TAKE A BOW

 

[Penelope]

Anyways.

PEOPLE TAKE A BOW

Astonishingly, with a 15 year old Oscar Zia on backing dancer duties!

 

[Apoca]

Astonishingly, with a 15 year old Oscar Zia on backing dancer duties!

Is someone mixing up Oscar Zia with Anton Ewald?

 

[Penelope]

OH

Well it ALL COMES OUT THE SAME TAP

 

[Apoca]

Now, bless poor Velvet but let's talk about the REAL QUEENS of 2009:




GIMME GIMME GIMME!

 

[Penelope]

Actually BLINDING

MINUTES OF LOVE!

 

[win_the_game]

Still can't believe that lost out to SDF.

 

[Penelope]

To be fair, ALSO an absolute behemoth of a track (no SPITEFUL COMMENTS about Ms Dawn Finer please ). Baby gay Pen used to fantasise about the ALTERNATE UNIVERSE where for some reason Rihanna was taking tracks from Kempe and released Moving On as her comeback after the Chris Brown incident

 

[Jacques]

Realistically speaking, I'd be shocked if Omar Rudberg wasn't back in 2022 or 2023 off of the back of Young Royals. Just hopefully with an actual song and a different haircut cause that was NOT IT.

Was coming in here to say that this is top of my wishlist - his former bandmates have both had fantastic entries, Omar deserves to be given something properly good now. I prefer his cover of "Symphony" from his recent EP to the original.

 

[D5K]

Was coming in here to say that this is top of my wishlist - his former bandmates have both had fantastic entries, Omar deserves to be given something properly good now. I prefer his cover of "Symphony" from his recent EP to the original.

I did love 'I Love It' and the flashing cube. Not sold on him personally though.

 

[Soldi]

Is he still a granny fucker?

 

[Penelope]

I did love 'I Love It' and the flashing cube. Not sold on him personally though.

I Love It was *breathtaking*. Still in bits at the entire concept of a track notionally about being a teenager fucking a 55 year old woman (but EQUALLY COMPREHENSIBLY about being a teenager fucking a 55 - or 25 - year old man!) where they sent him out with the STYLING OCH CONSULTING of Interview with the Vampire meets Farid Mammadov - Hold Me!

And that CATACLYSMIC RESULT! So worldshaking they NEVER REVEALED JUMBO PLATS LIVE AGAIN!

 

[Kratz]

Farid AGOG (holding SIM cards).

 

[Hak]

Although as others from that heat go - BRING BACK ANINIA!

Isn't Anina just a propped up bohemic version of Sara Li with less of a vox?




I say bring back the original and and AND Anina as a kitch hippie slutpop disco indie duo

They can be called Li Saranina and if they're not famous enough let them be fronted by Tommy Körberg and Roger Pontare (or some other privileged old cocks, take your pick).

 

[Hak]

I'm thinking an ARMY OF LOVERS return and call me a Nazi but I don't care how awful someone is if they can serve up this sort of rubbish

I love that it was originally La Camilla and Dominika who was going to enter Mello 2013 as the trio Happy Hoes with Miss Inga.



SVT prefered AoL to Happy Hoes but it was up to La Camilla to decide since she was able to generate headlines for having slept with the King of Sweden

Anyways Camilla was okay with replacing Happy Hoes with AoL but then had the audacity to demand SVT kick out Dominika to bring back the orignial AoL

Said and done, her now former friend and bandmate Dominika was kicked to the curb and the previously homeless Camilla was sole reigning Queen again

 

[Penelope]

Isn't Anina just a propped up bohemic version of Sara Li with less of a vox?




I say bring back the original and and AND Anina as a kitch hippie slutpop disco indie duo

They can be called Li Saranina and if they're not famous enough let them be fronted by Tommy Körberg and Roger Pontare (or some other privileged old cocks, take your pick).

Bring back BOTH!

 

[Hak]

Said and done, her now former friend and bandmate Dominika was kicked to the curb and the previously homeless Camilla was sole reigning Queen again

That was until days after the Mello elimination when the Bards decided to get back at her and send her off with this lovely goodbye letter:

Army Of Lovers declare Sainthood for Santa Camilla – and welcome La Dominika to center stage!

Our Dearest Beloved Sister Camilla, Our Hundreds of Thousands of Fabulous Loyal Fans, and The Chosen Few of the Rest of You Out There in This Cold Cold World who dare to care

Please accept our sincerest and most heartfelt gratitude for the hilarious months of joy and happiness we have shared with You, Our Beloved Sister, during studio recordings, rehearsals, therapy sessions, interviews, and performances in connection to The Original Army Of Lovers’ participation at Melodifestivalen 2013. You are dearest to our hearts, You are forever Our Beloved Sister, You are the undisputed People’s Queen of Army Of Lovers. For all this, we are to You forever grateful.

Your performance at Melodifestivalen in Malmö – from Your fabulous entrance to Your royally ignorant attitude towards even hitting the lipsynching right – make Yours quite possibly the ultimate Army Of Lovers performance ever. Who cares about rehearsing properly in advance, or hitting the right notes, when the world really revolves around the Art of Entries and Exits? And since You practice this Art with the ultimate superiority, how could Your performance possibly be improved upon in any way whatsoever? It was flawless. You are flawless.

Our Beloved Sister, what was Your Melodifestivalen performance if not the quintessential celebration of the Talented Untalented, the Victory of Charisma over Substance, the Glamorous Amateur set against the Boring Professional, the Good Bad Taste against the Bad Good Taste, the Ethic of Anybody with an Attitude is born to be a Star? You personify all these qualities better than anybody else on this planet. You are the proudest Ambassador of the Heritage of Milli Vanilli, and for this we herald You as Our Eternal Queen of Punk!

However, the show must go on! There are wars to battle and win. Army Of Lovers have a huge task ahead of them, fighting hatred and intolerance everywhere until everybody on the planet can have sex with everybody else all of the time. In this year of The Reformation of Army Of Lovers – in all its various incarnations – it is time to take the next step. Just as generously as Dominika stepped aside to let You, La Camilla, and the boys reunite as The Original Army Of Lovers for Melodifestivalen, we now thank You for stepping aside to let Dominika take center stage in the next reincarnation of Army Of Lovers in this Golden Year of 2013.

We therefore today proudly declare Dominika to be La Dominika, and in return we award You the Ascension from La Camilla to Santa Camilla, The Enlightened Global Consciousness of Femme Fatale Hysteria, Our Living Saint! We will always kneel before Your Altar on every stage we enter. You will always be with us in our hearts. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, for Everything!

The Committee for The Continuation of The Reformation of Army Of Lovers”

Alexander Bard
Jean-Pierre Barda
Dominika Peczynski
Michaela Dornonville de la Cour
Camilla Thulin

 

[Penelope]

That was until days after the Mello elimination when the Bards decided to get back at her and send her off with this lovely goodbye letter:

Army Of Lovers declare Sainthood for Santa Camilla – and welcome La Dominika to center stage!

Our Dearest Beloved Sister Camilla, Our Hundreds of Thousands of Fabulous Loyal Fans, and The Chosen Few of the Rest of You Out There in This Cold Cold World who dare to care

Please accept our sincerest and most heartfelt gratitude for the hilarious months of joy and happiness we have shared with You, Our Beloved Sister, during studio recordings, rehearsals, therapy sessions, interviews, and performances in connection to The Original Army Of Lovers’ participation at Melodifestivalen 2013. You are dearest to our hearts, You are forever Our Beloved Sister, You are the undisputed People’s Queen of Army Of Lovers. For all this, we are to You forever grateful.

Your performance at Melodifestivalen in Malmö – from Your fabulous entrance to Your royally ignorant attitude towards even hitting the lipsynching right – make Yours quite possibly the ultimate Army Of Lovers performance ever. Who cares about rehearsing properly in advance, or hitting the right notes, when the world really revolves around the Art of Entries and Exits? And since You practice this Art with the ultimate superiority, how could Your performance possibly be improved upon in any way whatsoever? It was flawless. You are flawless.

Our Beloved Sister, what was Your Melodifestivalen performance if not the quintessential celebration of the Talented Untalented, the Victory of Charisma over Substance, the Glamorous Amateur set against the Boring Professional, the Good Bad Taste against the Bad Good Taste, the Ethic of Anybody with an Attitude is born to be a Star? You personify all these qualities better than anybody else on this planet. You are the proudest Ambassador of the Heritage of Milli Vanilli, and for this we herald You as Our Eternal Queen of Punk!

However, the show must go on! There are wars to battle and win. Army Of Lovers have a huge task ahead of them, fighting hatred and intolerance everywhere until everybody on the planet can have sex with everybody else all of the time. In this year of The Reformation of Army Of Lovers – in all its various incarnations – it is time to take the next step. Just as generously as Dominika stepped aside to let You, La Camilla, and the boys reunite as The Original Army Of Lovers for Melodifestivalen, we now thank You for stepping aside to let Dominika take center stage in the next reincarnation of Army Of Lovers in this Golden Year of 2013.

We therefore today proudly declare Dominika to be La Dominika, and in return we award You the Ascension from La Camilla to Santa Camilla, The Enlightened Global Consciousness of Femme Fatale Hysteria, Our Living Saint! We will always kneel before Your Altar on every stage we enter. You will always be with us in our hearts. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, for Everything!

The Committee for The Continuation of The Reformation of Army Of Lovers”

Alexander Bard
Jean-Pierre Barda
Dominika Peczynski
Michaela Dornonville de la Cour
Camilla Thulin

As vicious as that goodbye letter was, I DO still find myself referencing the concept of the TALENTED UNTALENTED in the year 2021

 

[Hak]

Vicious but completely deserved. As rude a Bard is I'd also be pissed if someone forced out one of my bandmates and then doesn't bother showing up for rehearsals for our greatest gig in a decade.

 

[Penelope]

The concept was that she'd actively lip sync the whole thing wasn't it?

 

[Hak]

The concept was that she'd actively lip sync the whole thing wasn't it?

Yes, but they we're not happy when she apparently didn't even rehearse her lip syncing queues properly Queen

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

Oscar Zia CLEARLY needs to return after his STAR TURN and unexpected metamorphosis into the most handsome man in Sweden last year.

I'd also be THRILLED if Senabo Sei entered but surely it would be a bit BENEATH her?
With the right performance something like Younger would snatch every point going if it was a Eurovision entry, especially when the DRUMS kick in

 

[Penelope]

She hasn't done anything in years - why would the biggest show in the country be beneath her?

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

She hasn't done anything in years - why would the biggest show in the country be beneath her?

As I said, I'd be THRILLED if she entered.
I'm sure she just sees herself as more of a Pitchfork artist (who cover everything she does) than a Melodifestivalen one.

 

[Samanta TinAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaaaA]

And BEFORE YOU LOT START, I'm not entering some sort of bizarrely obtuse internet argument as to the (currently hypothetical) notion of Senabo Sei entering Melodifestivalen, and as to how she sees herself and her career

 

[Hak]

Seinabo Sey is a difficult snatch for Mello. A bit because she feels just like the mysterious and transcendent artist SVT longs for. Mostly because she’s like the Barbara Streisand of Sweden, continuously battling depression, stage fright and social anxiety.

All the Mellodrama would kill her, and SVT would have a dead Swedish artist on their hands.

 

[Tetris-Rock]

Yes, but they we're not happy when she apparently didn't even rehearse her lip syncing queues properly Queen

I thought her missing her cues was part of the act in terms of making it obvious she was lipsyncing.

 

[VoR]

Yeah I've always assumed the tabloid fallout and La Camilla's subsequent firing was just them all playing the game. The lip sync 'fail' felt totally choreographed for me. The way Bard and Barda are positioned behind to react in 'shock' and kiss to distract from it...

 

[Zu]

Yeah I've always assumed the tabloid fallout and La Camilla's subsequent firing was just them all playing the game. The lip sync 'fail' felt totally choreographed for me. The way Bard and Barda are positioned behind to react in 'shock' and kiss to distract from it...

QUITE on the last point. There’s no way it wasn’t planned. Also, the appearance of the actual singer () wasn’t at all accidental

 

[Zu]

Without bothering to check the others, I do declare that that AoL song and performance might be my favourite MF entry (apart from Lorraine’s efforts) of the last ten years. It’s the one which always inspires maximum silly excitement whenever it’s mentioned

 

[Hak]

QUITE on the last point. There’s no way it wasn’t planned. Also, the appearance of the actual singer () wasn’t at all accidental

I’d like to think that Alexander Bard planned the staging as a work around to accommodate for La Camilla’s general lazy attitude Given his perfectionist attitude I can’t see them go well together.

Santa Camilla hasn’t been seen with the others since and Bard has kept shunning her for years after.

 

[Hak]

Any rumors about AᗺBA sending anything into the Mello selection this year? I heard they've just released a few new singles but they've not really at the top of their careers anymore...

I feel like kinda similarly to Agnes they really need a career pick-me-up after being absent for so many years. What better way to showcase their new music?

 

[COB]

I've heard they've written something for Arja Saijonmaa to perform

 

[Penelope]

I heard they've written a LISA AJAX BALLAD

 

[Zu]

I heard they‘ve written a SIZZLING HOT SCORCHER for the GRAND RETOUR of AMY DIAMOND