UK coffee chains - what do you think?

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No poll options so you’re going to have to get your pencils out and write something (writes Stern Papa). As mentioned in the much loved Pumpkin thread, I think most of them are fucking awful (based on their espresso - I always have that or a black Americano as I wasn’t breast fed and never got used to hot milk :() although McDonalds (whilst not a coffee chain as such) is surprisingly acceptable at the cheap end of the market
 
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The problem is that they mostly franchise them out so the staff are BEYOND useless, couldn’t give a frig, the tables are always a state, you queue for ages, the toilets are shocking and it’s either fucking freezing or like a furnace inside.

I always think, yes ok you’re selling the rights to your brand but it’s still YOUR BRAND, do you not care that this bunch of entitled YOOF are destroying your reputation?

For some reason I don’t recall it being like this in London. Maybe they’re less franchisey in London for whatever reason.
 
I have never in my life bought anything from a coffee chain.

I was going to say I've never been in one, but I think I got dragged a couple of times.
 
As an aside there is a waitress in the Costa by me that has the biggest and most horrendous lips I have ever, ever seen. She looks an ABSOLUTE state to the point that I feel bad for her mental health.

Anyway that just popped into my head. Carry on.
 
I find Costa, Starbucks and Caffè Nero much of a muchness really. Fine if you want hot or cold coffee flavoured milkshake drinks, but not much else.

It does tickle me when Starbucks try to sell a different roast though. That may well work in indie hipster cafes where you can talk flavour notes and have a bit of mutual masturbation with the moustachioed barista, but do Starbucks customers really give a shit enough to spend an extra 30p?
 
I find Costa, Starbucks and Caffè Nero much of a muchness really. Fine if you want hot or cold coffee flavoured milkshake drinks, but not much else.

It does tickle me when Starbucks try to sell a different roast though. Thar may well work in indie hipster cafes where you can talk flavour notes and have a bit of mutual masturbation with the moustachioed barista, but do Starbucks customers really give a shit enough to spend an extra 30p?
Quite. And probably a different BURNT AND STALING roast at that. I of course blame FRIENDS for Starbucks. Everyone wanting to cram in their grisly little outlets to be just like their FAVOURITE FRIEND in CENTRAL PERK :zombie:

I of course never wanted to be like Bernard, Wendy, Norbert, Enid or Jill because I prefer to think of myself as being SLIGHTLY SUPERIOR :)
 
I only really go in summer to indulge in their sickly frappaccino's.

There are so many nicer cafes about.
 
I’m not in the UK but I’ll take Starbucks (which tastes burnt) over Tim Hortons.
 
As mentioned elsewhere, I think DIRTY sums up quite a lot of them, especially Costa and Caffè Nero. WOULD IT KILL THEM TO HAVE A TROT ROUND AND WIPE?
 
I'm a sucker for autumn and all it's instagrammable cheesiness, but pumpkin lattes and their ilk can fucking do one.
And then just when they stop WANKING about pumpkin spice, off they go about FUCKING RED CHRISTMAS CUPS!
 
There's a new Costa in the city centre and it's DISGUSTING. Packed and grotty. They could not have put in a busier spot. I went in once to see what they'd done with the old Laura Ashley and never again. Nice view of a graveyard though.
 
I think the best croissant I’ve ever had in the UK was at Le pain quotidien although it WAS about TWENTY QUID. Actually the M&S ones are good and only £1.20 so I recommend going there first and sneaking them in :disco:
 
How far have Coffee #1 spread now? Locally we've got about 6 or 7 I think, but they are all over South Wales and the West Country. I think they started in Cardiff.
 
I can think of at least 10 cafes I'd rather go in town. Although the Cafe Nerro is OK, as it's always NICE AND QUIET.
 
How far have Coffee #1 spread now? Locally we've got about 6 or 7 I think, but they are all over South Wales and the West Country. I think they started in Cardiff.
Although it looks like they are majority owned by Caffè Nero now. Oh well, if there's one thing we don't have a shortage of, it's coffee shops.
 
As an aside there is a waitress in the Costa by me that has the biggest and most horrendous lips I have ever, ever seen. She looks an ABSOLUTE state to the point that I feel bad for her mental health.

Anyway that just popped into my head. Carry on.
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The Costa in Dalston is always PACKED! Why would you ever SIT IN?
I don't get it at all. Opposite one of the rail stations here we have a Costa right next to a genuinely lovely indie. It's great for me because the indie is always half empty and I can get served in minutes. Costa is inevitably rammed despite the decor and worse coffee.

I think it's just a question of people not liking to be challenged, of loving the familiarity, and being rather dense with little imagination.
 
I once paid £3.40 for an espresso at Bar Italia in Soho (and this was quite a while back so it’s probably £25 now) and didn’t dare to question it because they looked like they might stab me :)
 
Costa is my favourite. It's less noisy and cleaner.

Starbucks is OK if you get the right one. I like their peach ice tea.

Nero is a mess.

Tim Hortons is no go (though I was there last week).
 
Has anyone here been to Caffe Concerto? The branches always look so rinky dinky and overly ornate in a really nasty way that I just can’t see the appeal although they at least don’t look DIRTY
 
Has anyone here been to Caffe Concerto? The branches always look so rinky dinky and overly ornate in a really nasty way that I just can’t see the appeal although they at least don’t look DIRTY
Is there one at Westfield Stratford? I remember somewhere that looked like it wanted to be like an old fashioned tea room, but was in a really incongruous modern build.
 
I only very occasionally get a chai latte “on the go” from Tim Horton’s though I was fumin’ last time I went as I remarked to my friend the staff looked particularly clueless that day (not having a go at all service staff at all by the way) and when I took my first sip when I was too far past to be arsed going back realised they’d given me some coffee concoction. I hate coffee.
 
Has anyone here been to Caffe Concerto? The branches always look so rinky dinky and overly ornate in a really nasty way that I just can’t see the appeal although they at least don’t look DIRTY
Utterly SHIT service at all branches. They seem to hate actually doing any work and love turning people away who just want to go for tea and cakes.
 
Utterly SHIT service at all branches. They seem to hate actually doing any work and love turning people away who just want to go for tea and cakes.
:D PRAISE INDEED!

I bet it’s the sort of place which makes a big deal about selling dry old PANETTONE which I will eat if it’s FREE but I’m certainly not paying for it
 
There's a cluster of family run independent cafes in the lanesy bit of the city centre and they're all in rickety 17th century buildings. It's charming as fuck. Infinitely nicer than the smelly Starbucks next to Ann Summers or one of the endless Costa drive thru's.
 
This was a Trip Advisor review a friend of mine left with Caffe Concerto last year. I was not the friend he went with, but I was most amused at the detailed complaint:

Hello,

I have frequented your establishments many times over the years, in particular the Piccadilly branch. I, like many, enjoy the food offered, especially the cakes that are served. However, in the last few months the service at your branches has been completely unsatisfactory. Every Caffe Concerto branch show various cakes in their displays, yet when I go inside I am asked if I am there for hot food or cake. If I am there for cake, I am turned away. Why have cakes in your display- and only cakes- if you do not want customers to go in and order cakes? This is false advertising. I understand that more money is made from hot food, but there is nothing to suggest that is the primary food Caffe Concerto serves and not cake- it is the exact opposite. This was not always the case. Many times in the past I had gone in and just ordered cake with no issues. Now, after your branches opened again after the last lockdown, Caffe Concerto has this attitude that it is doing the customer a favour and that it can choose which customers can dine with it.

I would have thought that after months of no business due to lockdowns, businesses would be grateful to have customers again, rather than take them for granted. The exact opposite has happened. The first example of this is what I have explained above, but secondly, the service from staff is beyond awful. The attitude from staff at all branches is that customers are bothering them, simply by being there. Smiling and greeting are unheard of concepts at Caffe Concerto. The greeting customers get instead is a scowl and an accusatory “what do you want?”- and that is if you could get service in the first place.

The worst staff behaviour was at the Covent Garden branch. I was there with a friend on Saturday January 15, 2022 in the afternoon. Even though there were many empty tables, customers were lined up and kept waiting unnecessarily. Eventually, someone sauntered over slowly, with the usual scowl, asked if we were here for cake or hot food (waiting to turn us away if we gave the wrong answer) and then finally seated- without menus. My friend had to go and get them himself. Then we were waiting for quite a while and no staff member was available to take our order- deliberately. We called and signalled every staff member that dared look our way and they all ignored us: one was too busy displaying cakes at the front window (the same cakes customers are not allowed to order), another was cleaning a table extremely slowly, even though there were many other tables free, two staff members were talking with each other and taking their time in what actual job they were supposed to do, etc. The worst was a staff member that literally walked past us whilst we called, hollered, waved and signalled to him. Instead of acknowledging our existence, he deliberately looked the other way, pretending not to see or hear us. This is disgusting behaviour. We were so upset by this rude conduct that we left and even told a member of staff on our way out how badly we had been treated. I am sure that staff member did not care and so did nothing about it.

Your website for the Covent Garden branch has the audacity to state "Known for its dedication to fine food, excellence in service and a love of the art of patisserie…” The service was appalling and customers are not even allowed to enjoy the “art of patisserie”. I am sure you will file this email into your junk mail and not care about customer experience, as there will always be other customers for the cakes (if they are allowed to have them), but I am hoping this feedback will be passed to all branch managers of Caffe Concerto to improve their service. Money may be more important to Caffe Concerto than customer service, but if it treats customers with disdain, it will not get any money from repeat business due to previous bad experiences.
 

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