Zu’s HANDY TIPS LOUNGE

  • Thread starter Thread starter Zu
  • Start date Start date
I have never managed to grow a beard on my face, so it will have to be the distraction method for my double chin. I'm thinking push-up bras
 
Zu 2 said:
Obviously I’ve already shared the helpful DATES one so TIP TWO is to always bear in mind that if you use clothes pegs to keep packets of food in the pantry fresh and dry, potential BEAUX will instantly realise you grew up on a COUNCIL ESTATE
Click to expand...
It's all very well resealing your groceries with 18 karat gold snack clips from Harrods in case a potential paramour goes pawing through your pantry but the stack of FRAY BENTOS will quickly reveal your council estate origins.
 
Beverley said:
Re brooches, I've seen a LOVELY one with a cat's ANUS on it. Can supply @Diddy
Click to expand...
This reminds me of another super tip for when your cat insists on running about, tail aloft, exposing its arse.




The Twinkle Tush is also useful as a gift for gentlemen on homosexual companion applications who like to send a photograph of their MUSSY as a conversational ice-breaker.
 
SystemAddict said:
It's all very well resealing your groceries with 18 karat gold snack clips from Harrods in case a potential paramour goes pawing through your pantry but the stack of FRAY BENTOS will quickly reveal your council estate origins.
Click to expand...
:D:D:D

The tip here is to buy only ONE Fray B at a time rather than a STACK (:D) and also to discreetly hide it behind other items :disco:
 
I just found this incredibly helpful thread - of which I have no memory :disco: - during a search for that one about GRIM PLACES, triggered of course by my ruining the Drag Race thread with stories of my TERRIBLE LIFE :disco:
 
Purse strings a bit tight but want to give presents with a bit of heft to show you care? Why not give friends and relatives SOCKS FILLED WITH SOIL? A top tip brazenly adapted from a previous one shared by @Nancy! :disco:
 
Lucille said:
Want to spout off about your GRIMLY FASCINATING childhood but can’t find an APPROPRIATE OUTLET? Then log on Moopy and dump it any thread that hasn’t gathered it’s own momentum yet in a kind of TOPICAL COUP
Click to expand...
:D
 
Dear Zu,

I ate 2 bags of some funny crisps and I feel very sick. Any advice other that I'm definitely dying? :( x

A1rS2scl.jpg
 
Alias #23 said:
Sick of the children dipping their hands in your coat pockets to top up their pocket money? Why not put BROKEN GLASS in there as a deterrent?

Yes this top tip has been brought to you by ISABELLE HUPPERT :disco:
Click to expand...
This of course also applies if you’re sick of little Jenny hammering away tunelessly on the BONTEMPI :disco:
 
I do hope you will all be suggesting these top tips to Take A Break.

They pay £10 for every tip. £25 if there's a photo.
 
If you are of sufficient height and have a penis, urinate in the bathroom sink rather than the toilet. When you’re done, a quick rinse around with water will use a lot less water than the toilet does.

This is beneficial for both your water bills and the environment.
 
ACHTUNG SLAGS! I can’t find the Lidl thread so this is going in here. Just look at what’s on offer this week for ONE POUNDS AND NINETY NINE PENCE STERLING. Pop in for luxury and pop those pegs you usually use in the bin because they make you look like VILE COMMON TRASH

954E7A3A-669D-4A08-8E54-697959BED552.jpeg
 
  • Love
Reactions: COB
Nancy said:
If you are of sufficient height and have a penis, urinate in the bathroom sink rather than the toilet. When you’re done, a quick rinse around with water will use a lot less water than the toilet does.

This is beneficial for both your water bills and the environment.
Click to expand...
Love this. Too bad the sink starts stinking of piss.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Zu
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top Bottom