Melodifestivalen 2022: Deltävling 3 - Avicii Arena (again)

Penelope said:
Holy FUCKING SHIT - I JUST FOUND OUT that the footballer Linda noshed off/had an affair with is LANCELOT'S FUCKING DAD!!! 💀💀💀
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This is incredible news. Right, LINDY...


Finish Him Mortal Kombat GIF
 
Penelope said:
Holy FUCKING SHIT - I JUST FOUND OUT that the footballer Linda noshed off/had an affair with is LANCELOT'S FUCKING DAD!!! 💀💀💀
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That is amazing! Please can our Swedeophones keep the rest of primed for the inevitable BJ and ‘coming first’ jokes on Saturday.
 
Apparently the Swedish media is really hyping up Lancelot and predicting that he could be the next Frans :(
 
Also as hilarious as it is that he's in the same heat as the woman who FUCKED HIS DAD, it's obviously more likely to benefit him than her.
 
I was expecting Linda to sound a bit more of a BEERHALL ANTHEM, it feels closer to the rockier moments on Ingenting att förlora, brought slightly up to date. Very promising though!
 
OK on second listen I am fully in the bag for Linda! Easily her best since Hur svårt kan det va :disco:
 
1. Linda - I feel like this will EXPLODE
2. Anders - Obviously winning the heat
3. Lisa - Not quite as majestic as WSAF but very good nonetheless
4. Tribe Friday - Definitely FUN4ME, anyway
5. Cazzi - Good but irrelevant
6. Faith - Who let this boring wanker back in?
7. Mincelot - Insipid, whiny, low effort. Surely Sweden won’t be basic enough to send this fucking HORROR
 
Anders & Lancelot are pretty safe for the top two I reckon, though I would of course love to be wrong.

If Linda can't come top four here though, she was never coming top four anywhere.

Hard to tell what her competition is. Cazzi on paper feels like a classic 5th placer but it's a cut above most of that ilk as a song. Really good!

Lisa's is very nice and maybe it builds, but it didn't really bowl me over.

Faith's song is super generic (hi Laurell Barker!) but it showcases her voice more effectively than her last one and I can imagine it working well live.

Tribe Friday SHOULD be the obvious throwaway, but I just DON'T TRUST any heat featuring a rock band and a schlager diva...
 
OMG LINDA!

I didn’t listen to anything else. I mean, WHAT’S THE POINT?
 
I don’t think Lancelot is as safe as you might think. Charlotte went direkt last year in the same heat that a young bloke failed to qualify. In heat one this year, Theoz could only manage AC and Omar hilariously bombed.
 
After my first listen this will be a very tough heat for Linda, there’s already two certain qualifiers no obviously bad songs in this heat :eyes:
 
1 - LINDA BENGTZING - FYRFALDIGT HURRA - Fulfilling the long-fated @Suomi prophecy of Lady Gaga - Gypsy as the heat 4 song 7 entry of his dreams, except in heat 3 song 6 - scientifically PROVEN to be one of the most gay-friendly positions possible in this cruel contest of broken dreams and tearstained mascara.

I felt hope during this - like packing your bags for a plane journey to another continent to a new adventure and a new beginning, putting your favourite canary dress in (and your favourite jockstrap in the side compartment but shhh maybe customs won't see), reflecting as an older, wiser human being in the taxi journey on all the decisions you've taken, mistakes you've made, and lessons you've learned, that brought you to this moment where you are now. You get out of the Uber at the airport with your carry-on case (your mother got it for you on her phone so you don't need to worry about going overdrawn - but you also have savings these days anyway she was just being nice). You are content. You are ready. Your new life is about to begin

2 - Cazzi Opeia - What a worthy successor to Lovers of Valdaro - Somebody Wants in the heat 3 song 1 gay fan service slot of doom! :disco: Love the early 2010s Marina energy of the verses, LOVE LOVE LOVE the BWO chorus. Is this immediately the most interesting thing Paul Rey has ever done? He was definitely forced to try anal for the first time before writing this

3 - Lisa Miskovsky - Oh this is absolutely delightful! Maybe a little too laidback to go all the way here? Feeling slight Klingenström vibes in that I can sense this song wasn't written to only be heard in minute-long clip form though so I'll hold judgement until I hear the FULL ABBA harmonies

4 - Anders Bagge - LOVELY but let's be real this ain't beating Cornelia and nobody's gonna talk about this for longer than ten seconds after it goes direkt from this heat. In that respect the We Are Your Tomorrow comparisons really were bang on

5 - Faith Kakembo - Well done Faith - that debut was awful but I can just about see the heart going off in the corner when this hits the second verse in my mind's eye. You have successfully rewritten Tusse - Voices to be not quite as good :disco:

6 - Tribe Friday - Oh for GOD'S SAKE - this is exactly why I dissociated the second M*neskin won and started pretending Stefania - Last Dance won instead the second it happened last year. I was talking to one of the previewers last night who said that Melodifestivalen was the safe haven he ran to in the mid-00s to ESCAPE this exact kind of nonsense, and yet here it is. This is like that briefly horrifying period the other year where everything turned out to be cake, except it's every national final having a Razorlight song with a singer in bad eyeshadow

7 - LANCELOT - You can really see why Linda Bengtzing was forced to inflict incalculable childhood trauma on this WHELK by splitting his parents up. As someone who has defended the likes of Paul Rey - Talking In My Sleep, Felix Sandman - Every Single Day and Anton Hagman - Kiss You Goodbye in the past (OMG I'm creating a real rapsheet for myself here), I'm someone who is capable of assessing good boypop/fun4Jacques moments when they happen in this contest, but this is just absolutely terrible!

Snoringly bad verses, a chorus nowhere near good enough as a payoff to make up for it - if this qualifies, it really will be just because Sweden saw a guitar and a man aged 22 capable of reproduction and immediately abandoned all other critical faculties. Can someone check that Schlagerprofil pervert's living room to see if he's got a new sofa?? Once again I must reach for @Suomi's annual ceremonial vial of Magnus Carlsson's semen to flick at unholy spirits - GET OUT OF MY GAY POP CONTEST! THE POWER OF CAROLA COMPELS YOU!
 
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ButterTart said:
I don’t think Lancelot is as safe as you might think. Charlotte went direkt last year in the same heat that a young bloke failed to qualify. In heat one this year, Theoz could only manage AC and Omar hilariously bombed.
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I’m sorry but just telling from the snippet ”Lyckligt slut” has one of the most potent lyrics+voice+music combinations seen in modern Melfest. It’s almost on par with “Snälla, Snälla” and ”Svag”.

Swedish speaking young males and females of all ages will go for this.
 
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I've just seen Lancelot's cowriter previously cowrote Party Voice, Norrsken and Beat of Broken Hearts - talk about a CATACLYSMIC step down :D
 
Hak said:
from the snippet ”Lyckligt slut” has one of the most potent lyrics
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This was my first thought too (although, it’s not like there’s much to say about the melody :basil:) I can see it working more than your average twink ballad
 
My first impression overall though is that apart from Tribe Friday this heat is really ticking all my boxes in terms of the various shades of pop music that are available. Heat 3 always seems to fulfil this role, with a slightly unknown quantity with how the results will go.
 
This feels like a very competitive heat - could the older demographic vote have enough to haul Linda through? It paid off for Charlotte.

Cazzi Opera is also all kinds of :disco:

Perhaps Sweden will be in a more upbeat mood after sending that dreary JL song DTF last week, which wouldn't be great news for poor Lancelot.
 
Suomi said:
This was my first thought too (although, it’s not like there’s much to say about the melody :basil:) I can see it working more than your average twink ballad
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Yes, it very much tugs at the same strings as ”Svag” and I don’t think it’s much inferior instrumental will matter much when everything works so well together.

For references “Svag” was released two years ago and has become a phenomenon. It’s already the most streamed Swedish language song of all time.
 
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The Fyrfaldigt hurra clip just started playing at around the 45 second mark while I was watching this video of Metaverse pitching a glorious new future of escaping to a virtual universe where everything is still fine and like the good old days when your life's fallen apart and it fitted perfectly :disco: (NOBODY SAY A WORD)

 
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Linda Bengtzing - Okay, I was not expecting this to go as hard as it did, I like the sound of it a lot, your hype is on the money this time I'd hope
Tribe Friday - Sorry, this bangs and I also live in increasingly vain hope that this'll be the time that basic pop males fall to guitars
Cazzi Opeia - I have a huge weakness for electropop, it's well put together as a song and I will be rooting for this to land whereever it... crashes
Lisa Miskovsky - Sounds like it could be another long-laster like Why Start A Fire, however, not expecting nearly as many things
Anders Bagge - Standard issue epic dance-influenced ballad, eh
Faith Kakembo - Freedom from having to listen to this in full thanks
Lancelot - I'm normally a pretty tolerant person, but everything about this style of music and people enjoying it enrages me

so yeah looking forward to Anders and Lancelot direkt :zombie:
 
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