Eurovision 2022: Semi Final ONE (20:00 BST)

[Mother Superior]

Is there only one stylist for slightly rotund men? He's almost as bad as our entry last year.

 

[Wendy the goat]

He likes to wear his head at a jaunty angle.

Must be the earring weighing him down

 

[lolly]

So should there be something else happening on the sun behind them for every act?

 

[straightorbroken]

He does look like a walk of shame Simon Le Bon.

 

[AGinAg (38)]

AWFUL MAKE UP

 

[Nancy]

The original line was ‘instead of meat, I eat salad and pussy’ but the EBU made them change it.

What did they change it to? Fruit?

 

[Lucille]

This is the most HATEFUL song in the whole contest.

 

[lolly]

His trousers are concerning

 

[RS]

This is not as bad as I first thought it would be.

 

[straightorbroken]

The Swiss Rick Waller has brought this to a halt. My goodness this is bad.

 

[Alex]

Come back Gijon or Luca

 

[dmlaw]

Fucking hell at that ‘money’ note.

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

Who thought Martin from Corrie needed a music career?

 

[FetchFugly]

He has such an unappealing voice, never mind everything else.

 

[Star]

Think I'm going to struggle to find 10 to put through if it carries on like this.

 

[win_the_game]

Was that supposed to be a key change?

 

[Lucille]

Why does he look 30 years older than he is?

 

[AGinAg (38)]

This is definitely in my bottom 3.

 

[Nancy]

This is so boring and dull. Of course, it's going to qualify.

 

[lolly]

40 Albania
25 Latvia
55 Lithuania
10 Switzerland

 

[win_the_game]

Absolutely ghastly.

 

[dmlaw]

What did they change it to? Fruit?

They left it blank and just let the crowd sing the original line.

 

[ButterTart]

One of the worst moments in Eurovision history.

 

[Nancy]

40 Albania
25 Latvia
55 Lithuania
10 Switzerland

What are your scores out of?

 

[AGinAg (38)]

Sweating like a peado when the doorbell goes at 7am.

 

[ButterTart]

And now Slovenia. When will death come?

 

[rhythmbandit]

Europe just collectively threw up a little.

 

[lolly]

Come back Gijon or Luca

Come back James fucking Newman

 

[Lucille]

Switzerland ACTUAL CAT SICK!

 

[AGinAg (38)]

This is so boring and dull. Of course, it's going to qualify.

It's incredibly unlikely to qualify

 

[Alex]

His voice is irritating and the song is dreary

 

[Ellie]

Bargain Basement Chic

 

[lolly]

I've just set an alarm to start drinking at about 6pm on Thursday

 

[straightorbroken]

I hope Kelly Marie is going to burst out that disco ball come a much needed key-change.

 

[Haiku Rewrites]

Did Slovenia pick their entry via lottery selection?

 

[AGinAg (38)]

NONCE'S FAVOURITE UPCOMING

 

[Star]

I've just set an alarm to start drinking at about 6pm on Thursday

Is this your first listen? It is mine

 

[ButterTart]

How can a song called DISCO be this fucking boring?

 

[win_the_game]

This looks like a Strictly interval act

 

[RS]

Now this is just sad