Speculate Wildly About Enya

Recent claims that her work on the N.I. protocol discussions were central to it's success, have been described by this year's Prime Minister Boris, Liz, Rishi Sunak as absolute bullshit. He said her appearance around the discussion table, were at best a distraction, at worst a drunken, profanity spouting, nuisance.
 
Her parkour obsession has landed her in trouble on a number of occasions. While jumping around the brutalist utopian landscape that is the Barbican, she accidentally disrupted a theatrical production, which dramatised the events of Big Brother's David's Dead incident. Starring as David Bowie, Kerry Katona said off the record "she's a pain in the fucking arse that Enya. I went home and tossed my Amarantine CD out the window. Bitch"
 
funky said:
Enya once borrowed a tenner from Kate Bush to cover a lapsed gas bill and has never paid her back. As a result the two women have to be kept apart at industry events after the death threats got out of hand
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Enya has since accused Kate Bush of pretending to be Irish for clout.

"I heard her mam was from the Isle of Sheppey really" she told HEAT magazine in 2009.
 
Leaked tracklist for Enya’s upcoming covers album ‘Covers In Rain’

1. Touch My Fire (Javine)
2. Toxicity (System of a Down)
3. Real American (Hulk Hogan entrance theme)
4. The Clapping Song/Whip My Hair (Shirley Ellis/Willow Smith)
5. Bodyform For You (Bodyform)
6. Will You Dance With Me? (Dale Winton and the Checkout Girls)
7. I’d Rather Jack (The Reynolds Girls)
8. Step Inside Love (Cilla Black)
9. Slutgarden (Marilyn Manson)
10. Star 69 (Fatboy Slim)
11. The Playbus Theme
 
ButterTart said:
Leaked tracklist for Enya’s upcoming covers album ‘Covers In Rain’

1. Touch My Fire (Javine)
2. Toxicity (System of a Down)
3. Real American (Hulk Hogan entrance theme)
4. The Clapping Song/Whip My Hair (Shirley Ellis/Willow Smith)
5. Bodyform For You (Bodyform)
6. Will You Dance With Me? (Dale Winton and the Checkout Girls)
7. I’d Rather Jack (The Reynolds Girls)
8. Step Inside Love (Cilla Black)
9. Slutgarden (Marilyn Manson)
10. Star 69 (Fatboy Slim)
11. The Playbus Theme
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Bonus track for Japan rumoured to be the BUTTON MOON theme. We know she loves her some moons and she's always wanted to frott Mr Spoon :disco:

 
I bet Enya loves nothing more than to build a castle within a castle with her LEGO, with the help of her BUSTY MAIDS when they're on a break from churning their Kerrygold of course :disco:

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I've never had a care about Enya until the other thread came up and now I've spent the last 48 hours reading EVERYTHING there is to know about her online. I'm so INTRIGUED
 
The big question on my mind atm is why was she so KEEN to outbid Michael Flatley in the race to buy her castle? Was she that desperate for a safe room? :manson:
 
IntoTheDark said:
I've never had a care about Enya until the other thread came up and now I've spent the last 48 hours reading EVERYTHING there is to know about her online. I'm so INTRIGUED
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Once you've been indoctrinated, you're never leaving.
 
www.celebrities-galore.com

Enya

Enya has become a trademark for soft, soulful music with clear Irish Gaelic influences. But what influences her to keep a low profile, private lifestyle? Learn here!
www.celebrities-galore.com www.celebrities-galore.com
Some of it does seem fairly accurate 💡
🍀Enya's St Patrick's Day 'daily forecast':
"March 17th 2023 is a day of accomplishment in work. Enya enjoys respect and appreciation for her dependability. Yet, routine matters still have to be handled. Enya may have to contemplate or handle moral issues today."
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Does anyone else check these for fun? :D
 
What constitutes "routine matters" for Enya?

A trip to the local Co-op and getting annoyed at the 10p bag charge? Or having her daily commune with Oonagh the fairy queen?
 
According to past it internet loser Guy Fawkes, Enya is now living as the muse for the bizarre and highly fictional ramblings on a gay chat lounge.
 
While she's up there, she also likes to crayon it CARIBBEAN BLUE if it's looking a bit cloudy and sour :disco:

GOD THIS WOMAN'S A GIVER AND NO MISTAKE
 
Ag said:
According to past it internet loser Guy Fawkes, Enya is now living as the muse for the bizarre and highly fictional ramblings on a gay chat lounge.
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Oh! But I thought all these spiteful allegations and sordid slurs were TRUE! SILLY ME FOR NOT READING THE THREAD TITLE!
 
Enya’s favourite cooking ingredient is versatile MUTTON. Purse strings are tight in the castle and mutton is always keenly priced and not too dear. Guests noisily applaud her ways with mutton including exquisitely tasty FLANS, STEWS AND SPONGES
 
Enya was notoriously UNIMPRESSED when one past dinner guest tried to "helpfully" fling mothbeans and millet into her delicately prepared mutton mousse.

The unnamed dame was quickly escorted out by the castle cats, and has yet to be invited back.
 
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Shoat said:
Enya was notoriously UNIMPRESSED when one past dinner guest tried to "helpfully" fling mothbeans and millet into her delicately prepared mutton mousse.

The unnamed dame was quickly escorted out by the castle cats, and has yet to be invited back.
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That’s LINDA MARTIN for you :(
 
I tried to visit Dark Sky Island famous ISLE OF SARK last year only to be told it doesn’t EXIST. Completely made up by Enya. I was raging.
 
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jivafox said:
I tried to visit Dark Sky Island famous ISLE OF SARK last year only to be told it doesn’t EXIST. Completely made up by Enya. I was raging.
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Didn’t she confess during the album promo that she’d never actually been there? WELL I WONDER WHY :eyes:
 
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