Jark's Top 40 of 2022
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Jark
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Jark's Top 40 singles of 2022: 25-21
25. Beyoncé - Pure/Honey
24. Caroline Polachek - Sunset
23. The Weeknd - Out of Time
22. Maggie Rogers - Be Cool
21. Ravyn Lenae ft. Steve Lacy - Skin Tight
new Beyoncé (WHERE) is always an event (IS) but who knew when she dropped an image (THE VISUAL) of herself riding a white horse that she was about to come back with a dance record (ALBUM?!?!) whose best song would be a ratchet Bloodpop-produced club banger featuring an intro chant of CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT that, three minutes in, would suddenly bloom into her sunniest, most carefree hook in well over a decade? I got you stuck, stuck on my love, stuck on my honey may well be the CHORUS of this miserable bitch's CAREER! my friend and I had a long-running debate about whether the lyric was "now stick it thick" or "that sticky dick". B really does have a MASTURBATORY GRIP on the DISCOURSE.
reigning queen of the glitchy white girl weirdos Caroline Polachek (title and crown stolen from Grimes in absentia) is on quite the run of legendary singles currently, and Sunset (although it should've come earlier in summer) is the kind of carefree, vaguely latin bop that the other girls haven't been delivering on lately. where does she get her power? must be the cheek mole.
The Weeknd's album didn't make much impact in the end—maybe unsurprisingly, given how overexposed he's been—which is a shame because it contains some of his best work, like Out of Time, one of the most luxuriously smoooooth jams in years. as a single it flopped, but this song deserved the world. speaking of flops, Maggie Rogers sneaks an album track in—sis is gagging for the acclaim! Be Cool is one of those melodic, carefree summer jams that's always guaranteed to lube my buss. in the absence of new Aly & AJ, Be Cool really hit the g-spot.
Ravyn Lenae made the year's best R&B album (only Amber Mark even came close), and the single Skin Tight is a gorgeous, warm, serene, meditative slice of mellow R&B that transports me to a really happy place every time I play it (daily). oooh stunnin', etc. if for SOME SICK REASON you don't know her or this song, you really must give it a shot. I might lie to you, but would @RJN?
25. Beyoncé - Pure/Honey
24. Caroline Polachek - Sunset
23. The Weeknd - Out of Time
22. Maggie Rogers - Be Cool
21. Ravyn Lenae ft. Steve Lacy - Skin Tight
new Beyoncé (WHERE) is always an event (IS) but who knew when she dropped an image (THE VISUAL) of herself riding a white horse that she was about to come back with a dance record (ALBUM?!?!) whose best song would be a ratchet Bloodpop-produced club banger featuring an intro chant of CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT that, three minutes in, would suddenly bloom into her sunniest, most carefree hook in well over a decade? I got you stuck, stuck on my love, stuck on my honey may well be the CHORUS of this miserable bitch's CAREER! my friend and I had a long-running debate about whether the lyric was "now stick it thick" or "that sticky dick". B really does have a MASTURBATORY GRIP on the DISCOURSE.
reigning queen of the glitchy white girl weirdos Caroline Polachek (title and crown stolen from Grimes in absentia) is on quite the run of legendary singles currently, and Sunset (although it should've come earlier in summer) is the kind of carefree, vaguely latin bop that the other girls haven't been delivering on lately. where does she get her power? must be the cheek mole.
The Weeknd's album didn't make much impact in the end—maybe unsurprisingly, given how overexposed he's been—which is a shame because it contains some of his best work, like Out of Time, one of the most luxuriously smoooooth jams in years. as a single it flopped, but this song deserved the world. speaking of flops, Maggie Rogers sneaks an album track in—sis is gagging for the acclaim! Be Cool is one of those melodic, carefree summer jams that's always guaranteed to lube my buss. in the absence of new Aly & AJ, Be Cool really hit the g-spot.
Ravyn Lenae made the year's best R&B album (only Amber Mark even came close), and the single Skin Tight is a gorgeous, warm, serene, meditative slice of mellow R&B that transports me to a really happy place every time I play it (daily). oooh stunnin', etc. if for SOME SICK REASON you don't know her or this song, you really must give it a shot. I might lie to you, but would @RJN?
Jark
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it may not be the LAST we hear of miss THANG
Beverley
GUESS WHO’S BACK?!
Are we getting top ablams too, pet?
Jark
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naturellement, cherie!
this didn't age well. I guess I really will have to finish for once...
Pipo
COQUETTE :ribbon:
I must be the only girl in the world who doesn't find any appeal in Rita Sawayama but the rest of this list omg I'm getting horny.
Apoca
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Jark
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did it actually?Last year's ended at #21 so this might be DONE.
I must have been very busy.my GOAL is to reach CLIMAX at the AIRPORT when I fly on Friday... and then I'll go to the gate, open my macbook and finish this countdown.
Pipo
COQUETTE :ribbon:
We all know Dancing's Done is #1 so: SPOILER ALERT
Diddy
愛してるって 言わなきゃ殺す
Is there precedent?
Penelope
striking, unique, 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘳
For finishing or ditching?
Last year's came to a halt as soon as the new year arrived. We are learning more and more about Jark's psychology through these.
Diddy
愛してるって 言わなきゃ殺す
For finishing or ditching?
I’ve learned enough, he’s EVIL
Penelope
striking, unique, 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘳
It's if he sidetracks to do his top 10 albums that it'll fall off a cliff.
I BELIEVE IN YOU JARK! I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO ANOTHER TEN SINGLES TOMORROW AND ANOTHER TEN THE DAY AFTER. DO NOT SWITCH TO SINGLE NUMBER COUNTDOWNS OR EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING ALBUMS
I BELIEVE IN YOU JARK! I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO ANOTHER TEN SINGLES TOMORROW AND ANOTHER TEN THE DAY AFTER. DO NOT SWITCH TO SINGLE NUMBER COUNTDOWNS OR EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING ALBUMS
Diddy
愛してるって 言わなきゃ殺す
Jark
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Jark's Top 40 singles of 2022: 20-16
20. MUNA - Kind of Girl
19. Carly Rae Jepsen - Western Wind
18. Ravyn Lenae - Light Me Up
17. Confidence Man - Luvin U is Easy
16. Aluna / Jayda G - Mine o' Mine
MUNA's balladry is always precious gold, and Kind of Girl sneaks up on you as it transforms from a soft, gentle acoustic guitar strummer to a rousing anthem about being an imperfect idealist (their lyricism, as ever, is exquisite). the way the line I could wake up tomorrow, talk to myself real gentle, WORK IN THE GAAAARDEN is delivered on the 2nd chorus, with all the emotional melodrama of a MASSIVE LIFE CHANGING EVENT, I find quite funny but also quite touching. truly the best band in the world.
Carly kicked off a fairly low-key comeback with Western Wind, which for my money is her best lead single. she just sounds heaven sent on these ethereal, sunny, top-down jams about CALIFORNIA. it's almost enough to make you wanna GO. Light Me Up comes late in Ravyn's album but the wait is earned—a steamy, sexy release of ecstasy, it feels like the spiritual crescendo of the whole set. there's a high note just before the final chorus that transports me to a DIVINE REALM.
enough balladry, you say? fine, have a banger. Confidence Man had one hell of a year in 2022, earning tons of new fans on tour with a pit-stop at Glastonbury (and another at Mighty Hoopla, the thinking man's Glasto, and by thinking man I mean homosexual thinking about where to procure mdma). Luvin' U is Easy is a zany, effortlessly joyful banger that feels airlifted in from 1995. every day, it feels so real..., goes one of the many choruses/hooks, and this lyrically unambitious max track really dominated my summer.
and at 16, my house track of the year: a hook-up between Aluna (whose dial is always set to SLAY) and Jayda G—how could this track not pop off? mine o' mine is a relentless banger with a FEARSOME drop that quite simply knocks. it's enough to make you feel BLESSED for being GAY. the bassline! these girls, they're trying to murder me
20. MUNA - Kind of Girl
19. Carly Rae Jepsen - Western Wind
18. Ravyn Lenae - Light Me Up
17. Confidence Man - Luvin U is Easy
16. Aluna / Jayda G - Mine o' Mine
MUNA's balladry is always precious gold, and Kind of Girl sneaks up on you as it transforms from a soft, gentle acoustic guitar strummer to a rousing anthem about being an imperfect idealist (their lyricism, as ever, is exquisite). the way the line I could wake up tomorrow, talk to myself real gentle, WORK IN THE GAAAARDEN is delivered on the 2nd chorus, with all the emotional melodrama of a MASSIVE LIFE CHANGING EVENT, I find quite funny but also quite touching. truly the best band in the world.
Carly kicked off a fairly low-key comeback with Western Wind, which for my money is her best lead single. she just sounds heaven sent on these ethereal, sunny, top-down jams about CALIFORNIA. it's almost enough to make you wanna GO. Light Me Up comes late in Ravyn's album but the wait is earned—a steamy, sexy release of ecstasy, it feels like the spiritual crescendo of the whole set. there's a high note just before the final chorus that transports me to a DIVINE REALM.
enough balladry, you say? fine, have a banger. Confidence Man had one hell of a year in 2022, earning tons of new fans on tour with a pit-stop at Glastonbury (and another at Mighty Hoopla, the thinking man's Glasto, and by thinking man I mean homosexual thinking about where to procure mdma). Luvin' U is Easy is a zany, effortlessly joyful banger that feels airlifted in from 1995. every day, it feels so real..., goes one of the many choruses/hooks, and this lyrically unambitious max track really dominated my summer.
and at 16, my house track of the year: a hook-up between Aluna (whose dial is always set to SLAY) and Jayda G—how could this track not pop off? mine o' mine is a relentless banger with a FEARSOME drop that quite simply knocks. it's enough to make you feel BLESSED for being GAY. the bassline! these girls, they're trying to murder me
Jark
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Jark's Top 40 singles of 2022: 15-11
15. Charli XCX - Used to Know Me
14. Avril Lavigne ft. Machine Gun Kelly - Bois Lie
13. Sabrina Claudio - Favourite Part
12. Normani - Fair
11. Kehlani - altar
we must have slipped into some alternate dimension in 2k22 because Charli put her whole chussy into becoming a big pop girl and... succeeded? number 1 album, several streaming hits and no sense of anything going wrong at any time. maybe she really did make a deal with the devil. Used to Know Me is one of the hottest bangers of her career. built around a sample of Show Me Love by Robin S, it goes hard, transcending the source material to slap on its own merits. special points for the lyrics basically calling out the label because they don't know what the fuck to do with her... while she takes their money to make one of the year's best videos
my highlight of Avril's album is Bois Lie, a song I've RINSED and ABUSED this year like the good little emo throwback Melissa stan I am. it's not deep ("boys lie! but girls lie too!") but it is incredibly catchy and three minutes of total exhileration. also I wanna fuck MGK. Sabrina Claudio's supersexy slow jam Favourite Part really is the most stunning display of vocal talent and control from a severely underrated chanteuse. sung entirely in a delicate almost-whisper register, this deepest of deep cuts is serving timeless classic.
Normani returned for her annual single before fucking off again. initially I didn't think much of Fair, which is really much too subtle to revive her stop-start career, but a mid-summer reappraisal revealed a really marvellous R&B track that in 1997 might've been the top 10 radio smash required to shift a million albums. unfortunately for Normani, she doesn't have an album, and Fair was a big old flop. see you next summer hun!
altar by Kehlani came from nowhere to serve aquatic, reflective realness.
fresh white flowers, and a new tealight
nine cups of water, still water
what does it mean? is this her Dille & Kamille shopping list set to a beat? why does she need nine cups of water anyway? who cares—listening to altar is cheaper than getting a massage, more relaxing than acupuncture and feels more like soul food than anything you ate over Christmas. that big, beautiful pop chorus comes in calming waves, before a ticking clock counts us down to... a literal swim in the ocean. inject it!
15. Charli XCX - Used to Know Me
14. Avril Lavigne ft. Machine Gun Kelly - Bois Lie
13. Sabrina Claudio - Favourite Part
12. Normani - Fair
11. Kehlani - altar
we must have slipped into some alternate dimension in 2k22 because Charli put her whole chussy into becoming a big pop girl and... succeeded? number 1 album, several streaming hits and no sense of anything going wrong at any time. maybe she really did make a deal with the devil. Used to Know Me is one of the hottest bangers of her career. built around a sample of Show Me Love by Robin S, it goes hard, transcending the source material to slap on its own merits. special points for the lyrics basically calling out the label because they don't know what the fuck to do with her... while she takes their money to make one of the year's best videos
my highlight of Avril's album is Bois Lie, a song I've RINSED and ABUSED this year like the good little emo throwback Melissa stan I am. it's not deep ("boys lie! but girls lie too!") but it is incredibly catchy and three minutes of total exhileration. also I wanna fuck MGK. Sabrina Claudio's supersexy slow jam Favourite Part really is the most stunning display of vocal talent and control from a severely underrated chanteuse. sung entirely in a delicate almost-whisper register, this deepest of deep cuts is serving timeless classic.
Normani returned for her annual single before fucking off again. initially I didn't think much of Fair, which is really much too subtle to revive her stop-start career, but a mid-summer reappraisal revealed a really marvellous R&B track that in 1997 might've been the top 10 radio smash required to shift a million albums. unfortunately for Normani, she doesn't have an album, and Fair was a big old flop. see you next summer hun!
altar by Kehlani came from nowhere to serve aquatic, reflective realness.
fresh white flowers, and a new tealight
nine cups of water, still water
what does it mean? is this her Dille & Kamille shopping list set to a beat? why does she need nine cups of water anyway? who cares—listening to altar is cheaper than getting a massage, more relaxing than acupuncture and feels more like soul food than anything you ate over Christmas. that big, beautiful pop chorus comes in calming waves, before a ticking clock counts us down to... a literal swim in the ocean. inject it!
Iguana
If I only could...
Jark
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i'm still DEBATING the MERITS of FINISHINGOnly top10 left. What if this actually finishes?
Jark
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Jark's Top 40 singles of 2022: 10-07
10. Caroline Polachek - Billions
how to follow up a single like Bunny is a Rider, Pitchfork's song of 2021? after keeping us waiting, Caroline eventually dropped what might be her best work yet. Billions starts strange—sexting sonnets under the tables, lies like a sailor but he loves like a painter—and gets stranger still when the chorus hits and a children's choir drop in. super-bonus points for the inclusion of the word "cornucopia"—Annie would be proud (although maybe only at Christmas). at her best Caroline's music transcends genre and I really don't know what labels you could ascribe to Billions. it's just a fucking fantastic song. pure Polachek. also my favourite music video of 2022, a total visual feast.
09. Father John Misty - Goodbye Mr. Blue
I'd never heard a Father John Misty song until this year. Goodbye Mr. Blue is about as gorgeous an introduction to an artist as you could ever hope for—the only song I've ever heard about using custody of a cat to avoid facing up to the fact that you fucked up your relationship. the narrator clings on to Mr. Blue because it's all he has left of his lover, but the cat's not long for this world and it's all so futile.
Mr. Blue died in my arms, nothin' they could do
don't the last time come too soon?
the chorus refrain is one of the most deadly sad laments I can bring to mind: when the last time was our last time, if only then I knew... all in all, a really, really fucking sad song, but the jazz production keeps it bouncing along and gives the whole thing a cinematic, melancholic sheen. perfection.
08. MUNA - Home By Now
more melancholy from MUNA, the undisputed queens of crying-on-the-dancefloor anthems (at least while Robyn's off having food at that cute place on the beach, or wherever she got lost). Home By Now could almost be considered MUNA by numbers—sparkly synths, 4/4 bassline, end-of-relationship post-mortem vibes—except that Katie's exposed, gravely-low vocals on the verse and the hyper-specific lyrics immediately elevate it to a super-sophisticated realm. I mean...
heard that you were selling your piano and your car
feels so weird to not reach out and ask you how you are
wonder if you're movin', or if money's just that tight
these are the kinds of questions to which I resigned my rights
apart from how wordy that is and how it shouldn't even possible to fit it into a slick, watertight pop melody, who the fuck else is writing pop music like this? it's ridiculous. Home By Now never climaxes, there's no big cathartic release to draw a line under this particular affair. it just shimmers on and on, asking questions, wondering. excellence.
07. Tove Lo - No One Dies From Love
BANGER! to be a Tove Lo stan is to be constantly rewarded, and the proper lead single from Dirt Femme really felt not only like a classic on arrival, but also a perfect crystallisation of the groovier, warmer disco and dance-pop exploration that arguably began with disco tits.
I don't say it lightly but on this song and others like Grapefruit, it feels like, five albums deep, she's occupying a Kylie-like territory, and being at her show it's clear she also commands Kylie-like devotion from her audience. the supercharged synthline here is one for the ages. I guess what I'm saying is—welcome, high priestess of the gays, and thanks for the gift of this song. we are not worthy!
10. Caroline Polachek - Billions
how to follow up a single like Bunny is a Rider, Pitchfork's song of 2021? after keeping us waiting, Caroline eventually dropped what might be her best work yet. Billions starts strange—sexting sonnets under the tables, lies like a sailor but he loves like a painter—and gets stranger still when the chorus hits and a children's choir drop in. super-bonus points for the inclusion of the word "cornucopia"—Annie would be proud (although maybe only at Christmas). at her best Caroline's music transcends genre and I really don't know what labels you could ascribe to Billions. it's just a fucking fantastic song. pure Polachek. also my favourite music video of 2022, a total visual feast.
09. Father John Misty - Goodbye Mr. Blue
I'd never heard a Father John Misty song until this year. Goodbye Mr. Blue is about as gorgeous an introduction to an artist as you could ever hope for—the only song I've ever heard about using custody of a cat to avoid facing up to the fact that you fucked up your relationship. the narrator clings on to Mr. Blue because it's all he has left of his lover, but the cat's not long for this world and it's all so futile.
Mr. Blue died in my arms, nothin' they could do
don't the last time come too soon?
the chorus refrain is one of the most deadly sad laments I can bring to mind: when the last time was our last time, if only then I knew... all in all, a really, really fucking sad song, but the jazz production keeps it bouncing along and gives the whole thing a cinematic, melancholic sheen. perfection.
08. MUNA - Home By Now
more melancholy from MUNA, the undisputed queens of crying-on-the-dancefloor anthems (at least while Robyn's off having food at that cute place on the beach, or wherever she got lost). Home By Now could almost be considered MUNA by numbers—sparkly synths, 4/4 bassline, end-of-relationship post-mortem vibes—except that Katie's exposed, gravely-low vocals on the verse and the hyper-specific lyrics immediately elevate it to a super-sophisticated realm. I mean...
heard that you were selling your piano and your car
feels so weird to not reach out and ask you how you are
wonder if you're movin', or if money's just that tight
these are the kinds of questions to which I resigned my rights
apart from how wordy that is and how it shouldn't even possible to fit it into a slick, watertight pop melody, who the fuck else is writing pop music like this? it's ridiculous. Home By Now never climaxes, there's no big cathartic release to draw a line under this particular affair. it just shimmers on and on, asking questions, wondering. excellence.
07. Tove Lo - No One Dies From Love
BANGER! to be a Tove Lo stan is to be constantly rewarded, and the proper lead single from Dirt Femme really felt not only like a classic on arrival, but also a perfect crystallisation of the groovier, warmer disco and dance-pop exploration that arguably began with disco tits.
I don't say it lightly but on this song and others like Grapefruit, it feels like, five albums deep, she's occupying a Kylie-like territory, and being at her show it's clear she also commands Kylie-like devotion from her audience. the supercharged synthline here is one for the ages. I guess what I'm saying is—welcome, high priestess of the gays, and thanks for the gift of this song. we are not worthy!
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Penelope
striking, unique, 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘳
OMG yes exstie you're nearly there YOU CAN DO IT!!
POP!
Let the light in
I always inadvertently listen to "Goodbye Mr. Blue" because it comes on immediately after "Buddy's..." with Lana. I can confirm it's great!
Jark
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Jark's Top 40 singles of 2022: 06-04
06. SG Lewis - Missing You
ok, maybe I lied. this is in fact my house tune of the year. Missing You, for my money, is SG Lewis' best song to date, a huge sparkly party stomper that makes u wanna be BADLY BEHAVED. that squiggly synthline is such an adrenaline rush, it never fails to fuck up my hair and punch me in the tits (two thing I'd happily allow SG himself to do to me). major tune.
05. Ravyn Lenae - M.I.A.
last one from my silky vocalista R&B queen. Ravyn Lenae excels at steamy, soft midtempos, but M.I.A. injects a bit of energy—a shuffly midtempo, if you will—to dazzling effect. only as I write this does it occur to me that I have no clue what this song is actually about: i'm gonna run this town, ain't nothin' in my way. if I miss the sun go down, might go to M.I.A. perhaps somebody can enlighten me. but if she has designs on running this town, tunes like this are the way to go about it.
04. Tove Lo - Grapefruit
Tove left it pretty late to drop one of the hottest bangers of the year. in the write-up above I said she's almost serving peak Kylie at times, and Grapefruit feels like another of those moments. but where, in Kylie's hands, this would be another song about sexual attraction, Tove juxtaposes the shimmery, euphoric backing track against lyrics about an eating disaster.
one two, grapefruit
wish I could change overnight
three four, lose more
can my obsession please die?
five six, hate this
how am I still in this fight?
(what I see is not me, what I see is not me!)
I've never had an eating disorder, but the desperation in these lyrics feels relatable to anyone who's ever been disturbed by the image in the mirror. it's a really beautifully written song about a delicate subject—but also just one of the hookiest pop bangers in an already stacked back cat. I'm boring myself at this point but we really DON'T deserve Tove Lo. I know I'll be having all kinds of moments to this song for a long time to come.
06. SG Lewis - Missing You
ok, maybe I lied. this is in fact my house tune of the year. Missing You, for my money, is SG Lewis' best song to date, a huge sparkly party stomper that makes u wanna be BADLY BEHAVED. that squiggly synthline is such an adrenaline rush, it never fails to fuck up my hair and punch me in the tits (two thing I'd happily allow SG himself to do to me). major tune.
05. Ravyn Lenae - M.I.A.
last one from my silky vocalista R&B queen. Ravyn Lenae excels at steamy, soft midtempos, but M.I.A. injects a bit of energy—a shuffly midtempo, if you will—to dazzling effect. only as I write this does it occur to me that I have no clue what this song is actually about: i'm gonna run this town, ain't nothin' in my way. if I miss the sun go down, might go to M.I.A. perhaps somebody can enlighten me. but if she has designs on running this town, tunes like this are the way to go about it.
04. Tove Lo - Grapefruit
Tove left it pretty late to drop one of the hottest bangers of the year. in the write-up above I said she's almost serving peak Kylie at times, and Grapefruit feels like another of those moments. but where, in Kylie's hands, this would be another song about sexual attraction, Tove juxtaposes the shimmery, euphoric backing track against lyrics about an eating disaster.
one two, grapefruit
wish I could change overnight
three four, lose more
can my obsession please die?
five six, hate this
how am I still in this fight?
(what I see is not me, what I see is not me!)
I've never had an eating disorder, but the desperation in these lyrics feels relatable to anyone who's ever been disturbed by the image in the mirror. it's a really beautifully written song about a delicate subject—but also just one of the hookiest pop bangers in an already stacked back cat. I'm boring myself at this point but we really DON'T deserve Tove Lo. I know I'll be having all kinds of moments to this song for a long time to come.
