Speculate Wildly About Enya

Enya couldn't give a FAT RAT about Comic Relief. She states that charity should begin at home. And ANYWAY it's always on a Friday night, when she's SMASHED OFF HER CUNT looking for a fight in Shrewsbury.
 
Enya happens to be watching The Sugababes singing on Comic Relief, and is considering donating generously after Davina McCall's Céline-esque emotional speech. 💗
And might go and see Rylan's panto feature at some point. :D🌿
 
She's just dropped a pill and rushed to Spoons loo, because she has pill tummy. She chose not to clean the seat after an explosive incident.
 
Enya would rather fund their visit to a beautiful Scottish mansion, plus a charter flight from Ebudæ unto Khartoum, and lots of peaceful Celtic treasures to take home. 😊
 
Not her 😅 but Enya admittedly liked that song Guess, and recalls buying a few lacy black undergarments (amongst other clothing and accessories) in Tokyo. ☺️
 
Enya is off her fucking box right now. She's so twatted she's pissed herself and not noticed. She's about to leave Spoons having started at fight in the smoking area and head to the shitty DnB club above a kebab shop.
 
In the two minutes since she left Spoons, she's lost her shoes, and snogged a homeless guy. She has a funny feeling the night may have some twists and turns.
 
Enya has just woken up. She doesn't know where she is, but she's found her now cracked phone between her legs. 4% battery and 18 missed calls. Her legs and feet are both covered in dried blood and she can feel sores on both sets of lips. She feels absolutely fucking mental and can't see straight.

She looks around, she's on a soiled bean bag, which smells of her own piss, in a room empty except for scattered drug paraphernalia, empty beer cans and a couple of other passed out individuals, of whom she can't identify the gender.

The last thing she remembers is falling up some stairs. She realises it's gone four and she's missed her abortion appointment. She attempts to lift her head, but her effort is futile. This is going to be a tough ride, but then in a moment of clarity she notices a baggy with a pinch of weed in it. Finally she has an incentive to move...
 
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Enya would be open to appearing in some kind of a horror film (fill-um) if she ever gets cast. 🎬 She can envision being almost as good as Demi Moore or the légendaire Isabelle Huppert. :disco:
A cameo at the very least would be nice. ☺️
 
Enya has just blocked disneyteletubby.

But that saw her phone battery die. She can't find a rizla, so she's thinking making a rudimentary spliff with the Chinese take away menu attached to her face.
 
And then the GRIM REALISATION dawned on her that she had missed a whole DAY of WHATSAPPING snaps of her BOBS to RANDOM NUMBERS
 
Enya is converting her castle to a mega Wetherspoons

She feels soiled bean bags and piss are things that more people should experience
 
Enya keeping in touch with disneyteletubby in the first place would be something...!
She might consider another Reddit AMA after her new album, possibly on r/Enya. :disco:

More people should experience living ice-cream-free, Enya believes. She didn't intend to upset people with a simple comment about not eating ice-cream. :rofl:
From the Reddit AMA https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/4ak23o/ama_i_am_singersongwriter_musician_and_producer/  2016 is 9 years ago wow..

Or at least don't be one of those 'I eat it straight from the tub' people. 😅
 
Enya is thinking about recording some karaoke again with her sister in Australia
Olive and Enya, c. 1989


Also Enya's sister Olive sings in this band, she has performed more recently than Enya. I think her singing voice is the higher in the group, I could imagine hers and Enya's work very nicely together too. 🤗

and that it'll include some fun little sister songs like Making Today A Perfect Day from Frozen Fever, where it is fine to be a bit delirious, like Elsa with a cold, as she sings. :laugh: 🎶
 
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Enya has died I'm afraid. Her heart gave in after over doing the speedballs. She was found, bleeding from her nostrils and nipples, in a mound of her own faeces. Her eyes were open.
 
She's had one of those big fizzy white tablets you drop in your water and she feels good as new, ready to do it all again.
 
Having had a successful gastric lavage at the Killiney International Hospital, Enya is back at her castle trying to investigate whether certain allegations regarding her pubic hair are true.
 
Enya was banished from church as a kid for excessively pleasuring the pastor. Her nickname in the village was "Whoreface McGee"
 

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