Speculate Wildly About Enya (2 Viewers)

Enya made the mistake of googling herself last night and came across this thread. Her neighbour, Bono, reported hearing wails of anguish well into the early hours.
 
Enya considers the most hurtful claim in this thread is the idea of her praying for Mandalay.

She has actually never given Myanmar a seconds thought in her life.
 
She's still furious that certain posters are channeling their saccharine insights as her own. She doesn't know who Tasmin fucking Archer is and nor does she want to.

She's a self proclaimed narcissistic bitch.
 
Enya has written a sternly worded letter addressed to Moopy HQ.

The letter is covered in a shit.
 
She's still furious that certain posters are channeling their saccharine insights as her own. She doesn't know who Tasmin fucking Archer is and nor does she want to.

She's a self proclaimed narcissistic bitch.
Enya is revealed to have called Tasmin Archer "a rancid old twat with a fanny like a butcher's dustbin, mind you that Sleeping Satellite is quite catchy innit?" in a recently unearthed 1993 interview with the National Front.
 
Sadly Enya's terrible handwriting means her stern letter was addressed to Morpy instead.

There is now a baffled Argentinian clothing boutique pondering what to do with new age excrement.

Meanwhile it is expected that fevered online speculation will continue undeterred on such hot topics as whether Enya is in a "Corn Flake or Rice Krispie mood", her favourite Pauline Quirke song, and her scat sessions with General Pinochet.
 
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Enya recalls her time in the early 90s selling Big Macs for a children's charity event, but she hadn't expected the 'turn it up' fragment of Orinoco Flow to be featured in a 2025 McDonald's ad! :laugh: 🍔

I saw it in the ad break watching 1% Club on ITV about half an hour ago. :D
 
Enya can sense narcissism and manipulation from miles off, especially amongst supposed authority figures: mums, nuns, leaders, and teachers. :eyes:

But she also believes that even they ought to get their sweet treatment. 🤗
 
Enya is banned from 11 pubs in Reading. It was only a matter of time before her xenophobic and homophobic heckling towards other patrons caught up with her.
 
Enya is gutted about Dancing on Ice, but she says that's what ITV get for turning their backs on Philip Schofield
 
Enya thinks Anne Robinson
Enya is reminded of this drawing :D
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Enya thinks this is a great portrait drawing
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of Anne Robinson
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link GIF

😅
 
Enya is revisiting some handwriting analysis/graphology thing of hers; what her large 'y', 'g' loops indicate makes her blush. ☺️
The most recent two (2021, 2020)
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r/Enya - Today marks the 20th Anniversary of the most iconic album 'A Day Without Rain'. Enya, Roma & Nicky wrote these letters for today's special watchparty!

Her earlier handwriting (from at least the 80s up to late 90s) of Enya's had a different, slightly pointier y loop, looks like half a heart.
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Also about unusual or triangular Ys :D
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Enya OUTRAGED at homosexual allegations, votes Tory

Nude Twister with Roma Ryan is entirely about the ART
 
Enya's favourite popular clean rap songs (that she isn't sampled in) include De La Soul's The Magic Number, followed by a song 20 years later, Replay by Iyaz ft. Flo Rida's. :grin: 🎶
 
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Enya gave Jeffrey Epstein Hepatitis. After word got out about his diagnosis she would call him up mockingly in the middle of the night and sing to the tune of Roxanne..."HEEEEPPPsssstteeeiiin"
 
Enya knows she is amongst the least likely recording artists to get her songs banned, but the idea intrigues her.
The album Ordinary Man by Christy Moore that Enya did some backing vocals on, had a track 'They Never Came Home' which was about the Stardust fire victims, which got banned just because of a line about chained fire exits :( and got the songwriter and producers (including Nicky Ryan) sent to court.
As for Enya's favourites The Police - Roxanne and Can't Stand Losing You were banned by the BBC - she deems it darkly funny that songs about prostitution and/or suicide turn out rather catchy.
Enya was told that the main hook from her song Someone Said Goodbye "is there a reason" sounds like the chorus of Sweet Painted Lady by Elton John. 💭 🎨 🖌
That was the reason not to release it as a single, never mind the meaning of Elton's song. :redface:
(Listen to this) 😅
:enya:
 
Enya is glad to know that the Irish passport is currently the most powerful in the world! 😃✈️🗺🪄 She is booking her next holiday imminently, hoping to include another location mentioned in Orinoco Flow. Maybe Peru or Cebu/Philippines. 😊
 
Enya has unfortunately been EVAPORATED by the sun, having been cruelly tricked into thinking it was safe for the undead to venture outside in April.

She is once again hosting inappropriate dinner parties in the afterlife.
 
With the recent 50th anniversary of Microsoft, and the reminder of Microsoft Word being released in 1983, Enya kind of wished Word had been around a year or two earlier, to be able to have an electronic copy of a particular complaint letter about her unauthorised appearance on the Fuaim album cover (trying to rediscover the article 😅)

(I'd assume Enya's less bothered by it now.)
:enya:
 
Enya is a little disappointed that Škoda saved the hummingbird for the Elroq advertisement but didn't do for the Enyaq. At least its innovation and elegance were key features.☺️
Not that she'd buy either car, of course. :D
 
Enya has SOLD HER SOUL to RONALD MCDONALD

All she got was three weeks worth of free breakfasts and a bag of small plastic items
 
More fears for the global economy as Enya announces 700% sales tariffs on HUMMING, EXCREMENT, and SCHOOLCHILDREN

"I don't care to understand the markets but I assume this somehow means more money for more castles for Enya" mused our socialist champion
 
Enya only has a vague idea of how the markets work, but even her lacking knowledge of them is more pragmatic than Liz Truss' pork markets. :D
 
Enya is amused by this Scrooge McDuck comic clipping :D
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and how she even got a mention in the comments as a real-life example 😅



:enya:
 
Enya has started an actual pissing contest with Ed Davey, Monica Irimia, and Fadi Fawaz.

She is expected to win, although she famously cheats using wet farts to throw her opponents.
 
I think the punters are sorely underestimating the size of Monica Cheeky's bladder unfortunately
 
But yes Ms Cheeky has a bladder the size AND shape of a supermarket pineapple. But she is notoriously dehydrated, something Ms Madison Avenue can relate to (unrelated).

Ed Davey is a rank outsider, although famously beat Enya in a shitting contest.
 

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