Speculate Wildly About Enya

Enya is contemplating her spiritually fortunate position in the world in comparison to Theresa May and the late Queen Elizabeth. The single, childfree life, no diabetes, a queen-worthy castle, and upholding duty is unheard of. Serving is optional too. :laugh:

:enya:
 
Enya "Imran" Brennan passed away in the hospice March 23rd 2024 at age 64. She was surrounded by loved ones and Pauline Quirke.

Enya excelled at "trolley jousting" and lobbied fiercely for the lowering of safety standards in supermarket car park sports as she believed it harmed healthy competition.

She was a big supporter of the compulsory removal of wisdom teeth in children under the age of 5 and owned stock in multiple companies, none of which exist any longer.

She was a regular visitor to the local playground where she took much delight in smearing the apparatus with her own feces and threw tampons from her "used and abused" sanitary sack at anyone who she thought looked a funny tinge. "Wanna catch the raw end of my Orinico Flow?" she would sqawk - Often blind drunk on a Tuesday morning.

Enya leaves behind her beloved beagle Onya.

Enya has taken her grudge with Kate Bush to the grave. Reportedly her last words were "Do not under any circumstances bury that burly bastard next to me when she carks it."

Her castles have been gifted to Somalian pirates.

To Theresa May she leaves a lifetime supply of high fructose fruit juice.

Enya has requested that anyone caught trying to harvest her organs be sentenced to 10 years hard labour in Donegal.

She lived and died by the motto "Arbeit Macht Frei"
 
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Enya would be tempted to simply repost like this (featuring Dionne Warwick) if there were ever some popular death hoax video regarding herself


:D

And maybe respond to a similar thing but Australia as her 'I've just been there for a month'

☺️


😅 :disco:
 
Enya has seen this video
disneyteletubby said:
🍏🥔


😊
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and besides several of the comments remarking of her 'hostage-like yet attractive appearance' 🙈 it doesn't sit right with her that closer to a million than zero of the internet population have seen this early performance, in Switzerland of all places. 🇨🇭 😅

Enya is figuring out how she's going to be co-celebrating Eurovision and her birthday (on the same day this year). ☺🎶
 
Enya has gained quite the reputation behind the pearly gates for her "dinner parties".

Her guest erupt with raucous laughter as she staggers robotically across the room doing her Theresa May piss take. "Honestly stick her in a field of wheat and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference" Goebbels remarked..
 
It's been a busy week for ghost Enya. She has spent many hours furiously fingerblasting herself to pictures of Danielle Westbrook sans nostrils. The poor thing can barely walk and she's had to invest in a stairlift which she has named after her late dog Onya "C'mon then, let's be 'avin Enya on yer Onya" she chortles, as she hoists her slack withered snatch up onto the upholstery.

Enya has also passed up the opportunity to be reincarnated. She's told her friends(and Pauline Quirke whom she contacted via that old ouigi board they used in season 8 of Birds) that she's staying put and readying herself to tear "The Bush" a new once she crosses over. "She wants a kick inside? She'll get one right in the foof!" she was heard to remark at her latest soiree.
 
Kick inside :D

Not speculation but Enya was asked (in 2016) who her dream guests a dinner party would be, and said Pope Francis (when he was nicer about LGBT+) J.R.R. Tolkien, and Oscar Wilde. 😊
https://www.lavanguardia.com/magazine/personalidades/enya-gente-se-mueve-un-ritmo-vertiginoso-no-ve-lo-esencial-vida.html

http://enya.sk/2016/03/people-move-at-a-breakneck-pace-and-do-not-see-the-essence-of-life/
The afterlife dinner party is seeming a little more likely. 💭 Enya obviously would prefer to dine with Diana (sans bulimia) again, and enjoy some culinary delights of Suzie Sweet/Mary Riggans from Balamory. Not forgetting Sinéad of course, in a fancy restaurant. 🤗
 
Enya was catching up on Mary Berry's birthday celebrations, fascinated by how well-off Mary was, that even her pony could visit her in hospital as a child!
Still, Enya would never trade her childhood memories on the shores of Gweedore. 😌🏖️💕
Likewise with Madhur Jaffery, can only dream of being so lovely and logical at 90 (but kind of envisions herself in the afterlife by then. :'-)
 
Enya is happy to contribute generously towards a worldwide USB update (USB-C has been around for a decade after all) as long as it forgoes D and becomes either USB-E or USB-N. :grin: 🔌
 
Enya would like to assure those of you still on this mortal coil that she is JUST FINE AND DANDY on the other side.

She has taken up a lover in human cigarette and former Eastenders star June Brown - "Want some Brown inya Enya?" she croaks to her nubile celtic lover as the fecal matter trickles down her sinewy nicotine stained thighs and she strokes her raven hair with her vasucular cloven hooves.
 
Enya's 'one red balloon floats to the moon' lyric from her song Lazy Days was an unintentional homage to one of her favourites of 1983-84, Nena's 99 Red Balloons. 😊 🎈
 
Contrary to media reports, "red balloons" are actually a reference to Enya's favourite pastime of playing a real life Pennywise The Clown and eating children

If you play "The Loxian Gate" backwards, you can actually hear the terrified pleas of one of her chosen victims before they are fried into a white pudding

Sadly such hobbies are forbidden in the afterlife, so she will instead need to possess a willing living soul
 
Marina Salty said:
Enya is contemplating how fast people forget about you when you're dead.
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Reminded me of reading this sad little quip earlier 😿
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Enya says thank goodness for archives and decent music videos. ☺️

When I mention Enya my mum sometimes asks 'isn't she dead' (getting mixed up with Sinéad) so both are remembered in some way, dead or alive haha
 
Enya has recently discovered this TikTok account :laugh: and, flabbergasted as she is by it, Enya kind of wishes the girl would continue making new clips! 💝
:enya:
She'd never have dreamt a clip of her long-haired 19-year-old self, set to slowed version of Careless Whisper by George Michael would exist. :disco:
 
Enya has now resolved to seize land in poorer countries to build more castles where building supplies are cheap

"MORE FORTRESSES FOR ENYA" she hummed cried as she sacked several Mozambican villages

:enya:
 
Enya has entered a bidding war with Trump - She wants Greenland and she'll stop at nothing. "So much space for so many castles mein Leib!" she cooed to her spouse - human fecal fountain and former EastEnders star June Brown (whom firmly in her corner). Pauline Quirke has declined to comment.
 
AGinAg (38) said:
She's necked a wheelbarrow of immodium and still she's firing out everywhere like a Catherine wheel.
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Enya bowls have calmed themselves but has just now prolapsed. This has disrupted her weekend plans. She is most upset as she was very much looking forward to setting fire to Leo Sayer and spending time with her friends, and Pauline Quirke.
 
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