Eurovision 2022 Sweepstake

[Soldi]

15 please!

15. Lithuania

Quite the oddball. Debuted in 1994, and are one of the worst countries in terms of results. Their best result comes in the form of joke act LT United in 2006 (6th place).

That said, they were one of the favourites to win with The Roop in the cancelled 2020 contest. The Roop of course managed to round up in the top ten this year. With the return of their MAMMOTH national final - which was actually QUITE GOOD a few years ago I’ll have you know - WHO KNOWS where there’ll end up.

Currently ranked 21st with the bookies.

 

[Soldi]

40.

40. Azerbaijan

Another good choice, they’ve been incredibly successful since their debut in 2008. They were in the top five every year from 2009 to 2014, and of course (suspiciously) won the entire thing in 2011 with Running Scared.

Since they were caught vote rigging results have been a little MIXED though - only finishing top ten ONCE since 2013 and failing to even qualify in 2018. Efendi managed to qualify for the final this year.

Currently joint 12th with the bookies.

 

[ManicKangaroo]

10 please

 

[RJN]

27!

 

[Kratz]

Which poor soul will get the UK (or worse, Ireland)!

 

[Beverley]

1

 

[Alex]

38 please

 

[Inner Smile]

Which poor soul will get the UK (or worse, Ireland)!

Iguana got Ireland

 

[Marina Salty]

Number 1 please

1

 

[Diddy]

Oh no don’t worry, Soldi will know what to do, in February when he gets this far down the thread

 

[Soldi]

EUROVISION ISN’T UNTIL MAY THANK YOU

 

[Beverley]

LOL SORRY!

12 please then!

 

[Iguana]

Which poor soul will get the UK (or worse, Ireland)!

Wow she's pernicious

 

[D5K]

Wow she's pernicious

So capricious

 

[Beverley]

So capricious

If I find that Kratz don't want me, I'll be vicious

 

[Soldi]

2

2. Slovenia

Debuted in 1993 after the break-up of Yugoslavia, though they haven‘t seen the success that their neighbours in Serbia, Croatia and Bosnia have seen over time - with two 7th place finishes in 1995 and 2001 being the best they could muster.

Most recently Ana Soklič was unsurprsingly shunned by the voters of Europe with Amen, shamelessly plonked between The Roop and Manizha in the semis.

Currently ranked 32nd.

 

[lolly]

38 please

38 please

 

[Alex]

AM I supposed to read past the first post SUCH AN EFFORT
39 then

 

[Soldi]

33

33. Finland

The perennial Nordic underachievers who finally snatched a win fifteen years ago with Lordi. It didn’t really reverse their fortunes though, giving up on sending rock songs in 2009 and landing in dead last with WALDO’S PEOPLE. This decade hasn’t been too kind
to them either, with a little child singing about saving the planet, sending a Swedish song (when Sweden were in the other semi) and a Krista Siegfrids LESBAIN KISS not even to get voters on board..

..Until this year, when they somewhat surprisingly (unless you’re ButterTart) wound up just outside the top five with Blind Channel.

Currently ranked 19th with the bookies.

 

[lolly]

AM I supposed to read past the first post SUCH AN EFFORT
39 then

Let's wait to see who we both get and if we want to swap...

 

[Soldi]

37

37. Netherlands

Again not a bad shot, recent winners in 2019 which makes five in total. They’d turned to shit after the introduction of the semi-finals, with Anouk ending a record breaking non-qualifying streak in 2013 with Birds and setting the ball rolling to what felt like an inevitable win once Arcade rolled round two years ago. Their entry this year however somewhat broke that decent streak..

Currently ranked 10th.

 

[Soldi]

17

17. North Macedonia

Another outsider - Macedonia have been easily the worst of the ex-Yugoslav countries when it comes to Eurovision (though there have been some highlights ) After their debut in 1998, they were relegated every other year until the introduction of the semis in 2004, at which point they fared a little better and maintained a 100% qualification record until 2008. Since then it really has been slim pickings, they qualified once in that time (with QoL KALIOPI) until they randomly won the jury vote in 2019.

This year of course saw Moopy favourite and @Dark Carnoël love interest BASIL take to the stage, where after ‘taking inspiration’ from Dotter in staging department he was sent packing on the Tuesday night.

Currently 37th in the odds. Dreams, gone!

 

[Kratz]

Are we shipping Basil and @Dark Carnoël? I hope so!

 

[Dark Carnival]

View attachment 6898
17. North Macedonia

Another outsider - Macedonia have been easily the worst of the ex-Yugoslav countries when it comes to Eurovision (though there have been some highlights ) After their debut in 1998, they were relegated every other year until the introduction of the semis in 2004, at which point they fared a little better and maintained a 100% qualification record until 2008. Since then it really has been slim pickings, they qualified once in that time (with QoL KALIOPI) until they randomly won the jury vote in 2019.

This year of course saw Moopy favourite and @Dark Carnoël love interest BASIL take to the stage, where after ‘taking inspiration’ from Dotter in staging department he was sent packing on the Tuesday night.

Currently 37th in the odds. Dreams, gone!

Oh COME ON!

 

[Soldi]

Number 1 please

1. Croatia

Debuted in Millstreet back in 1993, they’re yet to win (though it was a Croatian band who won it for Yugoslavia in 1989). Though unlike their aforementioned Macedonian and Slovenian neighbours they have seen a bit of success, mainly back in the 90s with an incredible run of entries (Nostalgia - Sveta ljubav - Probudi me - Neka mi ne svane - Marija Magdalena ), three of which finished top five!

The 00s we’re much less kind to them, completely crashing mid decade (Severina aside) and then throwing the towel in for a few years in 2014. They’ve had some recent highlights though, most notably Nina Kraljic’s outfit and Albina failing to qualify in the most cruelest of ways this year.

Currently ranked 29th.

 

[Marina Salty]

SE SE SE SEX

 

[Penelope]

The lowest remaining number please.

 

[Soldi]

24 please

24. Czech Republic

Debuting in 2007, they managed to amass a grand total of TEN points in the first three years they took part. Unsurprisingly, they pulled the plug in 2010 and returned five years later when neighbours Austria were hosting. Things have gradually got better since then, qualifying to the final for the first time in 2016, then finishing in 6th place two years later.

2021 was a little less kind, with Benny Cristo breaking their qualification streak with the public awarding him NUL POINTS on top of that. They choose one of these as their entry TOMORROW.

Currently ranked 28th.

 

[Diddy]

 

[Soldi]

38 please

38. Israel

Debuted back in 1973, they’ve had four wins to their name, most recently of course when Toy cruelly denied Fuego victory in 2018. They’ve had mixed results in the past decade with Dana International (THE RETURN) and Mei Finegold both failing to qualify, but some decent straight shit in 2015 got them back in the finals and seemingly on path to their victory a few years later.

Post-2018 has been a little less impressive, with a dreadful host entry and Set Me Free being a tad eyebrow-raising in the current geopolitical climate. They’ve taken a leaf out of Malta’s book and are using The X Factor as their selection method next year.

Currently ranked 25th.

 

[Soldi]

18

18. San Marino


Both the best and worst country there. A good result is a rarity for the TEENY TINY country that has given us Valentina x3, Daddy Serhat x2, ROBOTS and this year QoL Senhit and AWARD WINNING RAPPER FLO. RIDA (all sponsored by Panini stickers of course). The less said about their result this year the better.

Apparently we’ll be delving into the delights of San Marino’s own The Voice competition to decide their entry this time round

Currently ranked joint 37th (Yay! NOT dead last!)

 

[Soldi]

16 MY LUCKY NUMBER

16. Australia

The most recent country to debut in 2015, Australia were invited as special guests for the 60th anniversary and have stuck around ever since. They had an incredibly strong start - top five in the debut year, nearly winning the whole thing with Dami Im, and other than Kate Miller Heidke sticking a wobbly pole up her gunny, results have started to head south, resulting in their first non-qualification this year.

Currently ranked joint 12th.

 

[Soldi]

My age please, 31

31. Ukraine


Oooh, well done Didz! Easily one of the most successful countries despite their dreadful debut in 2003. Winning of course in 2004 and 2016, with a smattering of notable entries either side, such as the likes of Verka, Ani Lorak, Zlata and of course RAVEN QUEEN

Let‘s listen again, shall we?



Currently ranked joint eighth.

 

[Suomi]

3 tack

 

[Raining on Me]

26 please!

 

[Soldi]

35 please

35. Sweden

Sarah Dawn-Finer discovers ketamine

Congratulations, you’ve picked the best country out there. Six-time winner, with only Ireland managing any more. After poor Dr Anna brought shame on the entire country in 2010, they’ve really had a decade like no other - winning twice, and scoring another five top five finishes. Their worst result was only 14th, thanks to Robin Stjernberg and Tusse.

Currently ranked 1st (and probably will be for a while).

 

[Soldi]

23

23. Serbia

Another half-decent pick, love. They’ve taken part as Yugoslavia as well as with Montenegro, but debuted as themselves in 2007 and scored a win on their first trot. They’ve not got that bad a record at all, only failing to qualify three times in thirteen attempts. Their most recent attempt was a fun4gays AND straights banger



Currently ranked a surprisingly low 33rd.

 

[Soldi]

26

26. Bulgaria

 

[Indie]

Have you run out of words?

 

[Soldi]

What IS there to say about that Bulgarian SHITE?